Sunday, January 06, 2013
I have done the best I could under the circumstances, and really, I ate in a much healthier way over new years than I would have in the past.
I would have really liked to see something encouraging this morning. Even though I wasn't as perfect as I could have been, I didn't binge and I did do the best I could under the circumstances. Showing the same weight I saw a week ago was a bit of a slap in the face.
I understand that exercise is a big part of the equation, and maybe you were just trying to show me how important it really is. But you see, I really have been trying my best with exercise, I injured my chest wall and also something in my hip and my body really and truly needed a break from all the exercise I have been doing. I really should have started slow but I was just so eager to see results that I decided that starting slow wasn't important for ME.
In my past attempts a scale rise like this would have been something to derail my efforts. But you see dear scale, I am wiser this time. It is very demotivating to see a rise on the scale, but failure is not an option. If I fail now I will just have to start again at a higher weight in the future, because that is my cycle. If I stick to it this time, and go all the way, I will never have to go on a "diet" again, and that is a huge reward. I want to be done so badly scale, so badly it hurts. and then the payoff will be maintaining a lifestyle, and eating the correct number of calories to support my body, instead of always giving my body just that bit less than it needs to function, to create that deficit.
Now you see scale, tomorrow is official weigh in day. I am really hoping that you will see how hard I have been trying and reward me. If you don't I will just try to take it as a lesson. Fluctuations are normal, and I know from my own history that the larger my body is, the bigger the fluctuations and things like extra sodium or exercise really do affect those fluctuations.
So you see scale, we're not breaking up, but I need to see other people too. You are not the be all end all in my healthy lifestyle. I know that my eating and exercise were right on track yesterday and you didn't reward me for it. so I will look to my body and how it feels for guidance.
your one and only