Sunday, January 06, 2013
I stepped on the scale yesterday to weigh in for the diet bet. Up 4 pounds.
Today, I stepped on the scale just to see if there was a change. and there was. Up another 5 pounds.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? 9 pounds in a week?
What's most difficult is moving ON from it. As of yesterday's gain, the diet bet says I need to lose 11 pounds in 23 days...and it posted on my FB for me (thanks for that) that I'm 714th in a group of like 735 and have a 4% chance of success. How the hell is that supposed to help motivate anyone? And right next to it, over half the contenders have already met their goal or exceeded it 6 days in! That's going to make a girl feel great about herself--knowing that over half the people I'm playing this game with have already reached their goal with 80% of the game left. Nice.
I know fluctuation is common. I know it's not all going to go away overnight.
I feel like I'm obsessing and I can't stop it.
I went yesterday to see about a few new things to wear to work. I found out the hard way a while back that some of my favorite stores don't carry a full range of sizes in-store, or in some cases, at all. My favorite store ever carries to a size 10. Another only goes to a size 8. Another told me, in person, in front of a bunch of people, that they don't carry "plus sizes." That was deflating.
So I called the two stores I planned to visit to see whether they even had my size and luckily both had my size in the store so I wouldn't have to be humiliated.
At the first, I tried on every style of pants they had in my size-14 pairs of pants. Logically, SOME should fit, right?
Despite having the same number on the tag, most couldn't get past my knees--does no one have THIGHS in their world? Some got past my knees, but then couldn't pass my hips, and if they did pass my hips, wouldn't button.
And some fit the whole way up but were 3 feet (I kid you not) too long.
A man walks into this same store, picks up 23 pairs of pants, different styles, same size and could buy any of them because they all fit the SAME WAY. The only exception would be skinny jeans, which no many should even wear to start with.
It's no wonder women have body issues.
So I left with the one pair of pants that fit, three sweaters and a scarf. And got a teacher discount (yay Eddie Bauer, for acknowledging my tiny paycheck.)
At the second store, they have my size, but they're changing the "fit" of things. They now carry short sizes, which is great...if you are 4'11. If you are between 5' and 5'6, things are either too long or too short. Average assumes you are 5'6.
So no pants there, but several tops...and I got to use a "rewards" certificate so saved a little bit.
I'm just discouraged. I keep telling myself this is a journey...I even made a sign for my fridge to remind me.
Today I am going to go through my closet and take out those things that don't fit right or that I haven't worn in a year. It'll free up some space and maybe help with self-esteem issues, knowing that everything that is in there is something I love or feel good wearing.
Things will turn around eventually.