Sunday, January 06, 2013
I saw my regular cardiologist Thursday and the good news is that he feels that if we can get the A-Fib under control then any damage to my heart should reverse and recover. The bad news is that the current diagnosis for me is A-Fib with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF). I still have to wait the three months from the ablation date before they will decide how to proceed on the A-Fib, but in the mean time I now have three new medications for the CHF to see how they work. They are going to try these new meds and see how my system reacts to them. If I have trouble with them or am unable to tolerate them, they may have to hospitalize me again until they can get things under control and the medications regulated. Their main concern at this point, is to get rid of the fluid I am retaining. I have to admit that it was scary to gain 16 pounds overnight, but no more scary than this diagnosis. With the help of my Dr's I am sure that I can get through this. For the next few weeks, it looks like most of my time will be spent in Dr's appointments and tests, but then that is what I have been doing anyway so it is not new. My main problem is that I hate this diagnosis, it is the scariest thing I have ever seen in writing.
I guess my original goal of starting the New Year fresh was unrealistic. I have adjusted my goal to 2014 to have my heart problems under control and to have lost the weight that I plan on losing. Although I am still cared and would like to hid my head in the sand I did manage to gain a more positive attitude Thursday evening (between bouts of feeling sorry for myself and tears) but things don't seem as bleak as they did earlier. I guess it is true as one of my friends said, it is always better to know what you have to deal with, than dealing with the unknown. It's hard to think rationally or make any plans and keep a positive attitude when you have no idea what you have to deal with.
I obviously have gotten the attention of someone who counts as far as my health is concerned. I am used to all things medical being handled on a "hurry up and wait" basis. That all changed this week for me. When I saw my Dr. on Thursday he wanted me to do another sleep study since my last one was in 2006. While I was in his office, they called and made an appointment for me on the following day, Friday (and then apologized that they could not get me in that same day). When I went in Friday to meet with the sleep center, they agreed that they wanted to schedule the sleep study as soon as possible, and that is exactly what they did. They scheduled me for a sleep study that night so I ended up going home getting my pajama's and going back in to the sleep center for the night. I have never in my life had things move that quick when it involves medical procedures or appointments. I have decided that this is a great thing, it means that they recognize that there is a problem and they are going to do everything they can to get it resolved and me taken care of. I am wiping the thoughts that they are not telling me everything out of my mind because that is not the way my Dr's think. They tell me the truth and what is going on, even if it is scary.
I refuse to let this affect my commitment to my weight loss. I have worked too hard to lose that first 50 pounds. It was discouraging to gain the 16 pounds over night but it certainly got everyone’s attention and it scared the #^*& out of me. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens with these new medications and go from there.
Each day is a new challenge but I will make it to my goals.