Saturday, January 05, 2013
Yesterday was a very long day. We had been awake since about 11:30 the night before, and then ended up staying awake, and out of boredom, took the 6:25 am bus out to Salem to begin our shopping excursion. The goal of the day was to each get some much needed new clothes, shoes, cleaning supplies and toiletries.
I haven't bought new pants since June of 2011. I was also happy because I hadn't bought new work out shoes in just about as long and I was worried about possibly hurting my back if I continued to run in them. I had worn them down so much that they were pretty much becoming unsafe to wear. The soles of my boots were starting to come off too. I bought those in December of 2011. I feel a lot better now that I have some better fitting clothes that aren't totally worn out. Out of the pants I did have, only one pair fit properly. The other two were too big and they were very worn in in the thigh because of my previously very large legs rubbing against each other. Thinking about how often I do buy clothes, I guess we really are quite frugal as far as that's concerned. We ended up staying in town until about 10:00pm last night, and we ended stayed up for 24 hours. I slept so good last night.
I didn't drink enough water yesterday. In fact, I didn't drink any at all, but I did stay within my calorie range. In spite of the fact that I had fast food for all three meals, I managed to make the healthiest decisions possible, and stay within range. That makes me happy because I was almost ready to accept the fact that I might eat over my limit. Even without really trying, I managed to exercise enough to burn enough calories for the week as well. I walked around so much yesterday that my legs were actually sore this morning.
I'd have to say that so far this year, I'm doing well. Sure, we're only five days in, but that's five days of success, and I'm feeling SO much better about myself. The real challenge will be when school starts. I have decided that I will wake up at 5:30 on Monday morning so I can make it to the gym by six, and workout before all my classes start. I'm a morning person anyway, so I have no problems waking up early. My other challenge is in regards to homework. I am going to try very hard not to eat as a way of procrastinating. I realize that I often find myself 'hungry' when I have a lot of homework to do. Usually when I realize that I've put off my assignments and it's due the next morning. That's another thing that I plan on working on. I think procrastinating has led me to overeat out of stress and as a means to distract myself and procrastinate even further on so many occasions. I know that as long as I am mindful of why I want to over eat, I can prevent it, or at least minimize the damage. I think exercising earlier in the morning will help me stay on top of it, and doing my homework the night it's assigned (or at least beginning it the night it's assigned) will help me in the long run to prevent crazy binges too.
I had a chance to see my family yesterday too. I had a good talk with my younger sister, and I pretty much told my mom in a polite way that my sisters do have a tendency to be completely rude to me, and while I don't have a grudge right this moment, don't be surprised if I stand up for myself to anyone. I made it very clear that I am not the person I once was, and the only reason they had been making fun of me for so long was because I had let them by not saying anything. I didn't want to sound harsh, but I do believe it's true. I set the foundation for how I want others to treat me. If I am offended and don't say anything, I'm essentially saying that it's okay to keep doing it. There is of course the chance that people say hurtful things and they don't even KNOW it's hurtful. You can't change what you don't know.
I feel very optimistic about things. Life is pretty good, and I've got a lot to be thankful for. I've also got a lot of work ahead of me, and I'm likely going to get not only a job, but join a couple of clubs, and probably find the time to volunteer at least once a week somewhere.
I applied for a scholarship a couple days ago too. I had to answer questions about my career goals, how I plan on achieving them, and also questions about a struggle I've overcome in the last ten years, and a personal accomplishment I've made. I used my weight loss story as my personal accomplishment. I really hope that I can get some additional financial aid for school, or at least enough to help replace some of the loan money I've been getting.
I think right now my big goal is to work so I can save up for a car. Ultimately, I'd like to get a car so I can get a better job somewhere else, and help myself through school. I know I can do this. I can do anything I put my mind to. I've proven it so many times before.