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2012 kicked my butt.... I'm letting go & moving on!!

Saturday, January 05, 2013

2012... A year ago I sat here thinking this could possibly be the best year of my life. I felt incredibly good! The changes I had made the past couple of years had taken hold, and I found my life had finally shifted to that of a predominately healthy and active lifestyle. I had regained my self-confidence, and felt strong and in control of my life.! Little did I know, 2012 would turn out to be the saddest and most challenging year I had experienced in all my life.

In 2012 I would come to know devastating loss, yet through the experience, I would receive unpredictable blessings. In March I lost my beloved Mother, after a seemingly sudden illness. Sitting by her bedside as she lay dying, I had enormous guilt! I spent more time with her the last 6 weeks of her life than I had spent with her the previous 2 years. I had been so preoccupied with MY health, MY well being, MY workouts, MY nutrition, that I ignored all else. The loss was difficult! Yet it was during this time, when the hard decisions were to me made, that I bonded with my siblings. We all found an unbelievable strength, deep down, that we didn't know existed. Today...we are united and our bonds are stronger, a true blessing!!

In April... I went through my second surgical breast biopsy. I was feeling better than I had felt my entire life, & again a black cloud was hanging over my head. It messed with my mind. Even though the results were good(benign), it'll still be another nine months before I could possibly be given the all clear. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger-right? Hopefully Sept. 2013 will give me the results I have been waiting for!

Today, I have the tools to deal with life situations. I find that now, instead of grabbing a bag of chips when adversity strikes, I grab my MP3 player and go out for a walk/run! Instead of reaching for a candy bar , I grab a weight and lift it overhead. Instead of driving to the fast food joint, I drive to the gym! And instead of feeling sorry for myself, I feel grateful for this site, and for all my friends. I am proud of my dedication and hard work, and want nothing more than to share my success through motivation & inspiration!

I look at the pictures, and it amazes me how far I have come! But I know my work is not done. Becoming stagnant in my workouts, and complacent with my progress, would surely be a death sentence for me. My success in weight maintenance is contingent on: focusing on my goals, working my current fitness/nutrition programs, and improving upon them on a DAILY basis! are the goals I would like to achieve in 2013:

** Learn to LET IT GO. There are truly things we cannot change and cannot control. Kick guilt out the is out of my hands. I can only control my choices. I will not let the past adversely affect the future!

** RELAX...don't sweat the small stuff! I need to prioritize what is really important and what really doesn't matter. Does my house really need to be spotless?? Do I have to get all the laundry done before I can sit down for a rest? I guess I need to understand that EVERYTHING does not have to be done to perfection this very moment. Enjoy life...progress, not perfection!

** Watch portions. I generally eat pretty healthy, but I find that I often get too many calories from "Healthy foods". When the scale starts creeping up...this is usually the culprit in my case!! Watch it!!

** Specialized strength training. I currently do 3 general strength training sessions a week, either machines or free weights. I'd like to possibly go to 4 sessions a week...and be more specific in nature. I prefer free weights so maybe..1 day legs, 1 day arms, 1 day back/ abs, and 1 day chest /shoulders. It's attainable!

**2500 fitness minutes per month. I feel like need to take the minutes to the next level. This should be a challenge considering time constraints when working! Adding an extra strength training session per week and 15 extra cardio minutes per day would make this goal possible!

** Take on a 10K...I've done 5K's but I know I could do a 10K. I'd have to walk/run it. I do run as much as I can, but I'm not a hardcore runner nor do I aspire to be. I want to take it a bit easy on the old joints as I get some good sweating in!!

That's it lofty, major life changes. I made my major changes in 2010!! I'm on the right track...I just need to keep chugging along. Consistency has always been key to me. It doesn't matter how long it takes me to finish the long as I finish!!

Good luck to you in reaching your goals. Let's own 2013..Shall we??

Peace out
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are a real go getter! You are m y inspiration, Carol! emoticon
    1080 days ago
    Carol, we all have guilt when a loved one dies! so many shoulda coulda and then there is the birthday gifts you see and Christmas gifts you see that they would just love (I could never find anything to give my dad for Christmas ) and now I see a billion!!! Things happened just as they should have Carol! Rejoice that she was your mom as long as you walked the earth! It was meant to be!
    love ya
    Linda emoticon
    1344 days ago
    Your dedication has and hard work has paid off immensely. You are truly an inspiration. I hope 2013 will be all that you had hoped for and more. I have no doubt that you will attain your goals. WGT, Carol!!!! emoticon emoticon
    1381 days ago
    Great goals, Carol. You ARE truly Awesome!
    1381 days ago
    WHAAAAAAT? you just burst my bubble, Carol!!


    Just Kidding!!!

    I had truly thought you were a runner, lithe and as graceful as a gazelle across the Kansas Plains... (or Africa, I don't much care, but I've never been to the African Plains. Just Egypt. Ehhhh.)!!

    Oh well, strength training is good so I think I'd rather do that then run!

    Stay inspirational!

    And I saw a graphic somewhere, can't remember the exact words without going to my portable brain (SparkPage) but it's something like "Don't Look Back - You Aren't Going There!" so that might be a good one for you to snag for your photos.

    And I like how your page got scootched to the right side, right margin flush or whatever they call it, so all the graphics can be seen beside and below! How'd you do that?? I'll go fiddle around with my page edit because I don't like seeing only half the background graphic when the main box is smack down the middle.


    1388 days ago
  • KITT52
    great are proof it can be done....

    Have a healthy and happy new year
    1389 days ago
    Carol, you are an inspiration to me, not only in what you have achieved physically, but with your balanced way of thinking. We never know what a day will bring, but we can face it better with a clear mind and healthy body. I have no doubt that you will achieve your goals this year.
    1389 days ago
    I hope 2013 is good to you!
    1389 days ago
    Carol, you are one inspiring gal! Thanks for posting this - I know it takes a while to recover from the death of a parent, after my mother died I didn't feel like even being alive and on this earth for a year - but the best gift we can give them is the gift of moving forward in our own lives - I believe that's what just about any mother would want for her daughter. xxx
    1390 days ago
    Great goals!! You can do it!!! And I agree with the posts below!! YOU are amazing!!
    1390 days ago
    Carol 2012 just continued your amazing journey. You are such a strong person and provide a great example to so many people. Thank you for that! emoticon I think your goals for life for 2013 are just right.
    1390 days ago
    You are an amazing women. Great goals for 2013
    1391 days ago
    You've come through the year with strength and grace. Thanks for showing us how a classy person gets through tough times.
    1391 days ago
    Carol, you are an AMAZING woman! Your success motivates me to keep going!
    1391 days ago
    Excellent steps and goals Carol. I know you can do anything you set your mind to doing.
    1391 days ago
    emoticon goals! emoticon
    1391 days ago
    Carol excellant goals

    loved the relax paragraph .. so agree with this.

    I knew there was issues last year --- you are a strong woman and you made it through and made special bonds with your siblings a bonus there.

    All the best for you in 2013 --it is our year --rock on!
    oh yes do that 10k then go for the half marathon -- bet you will love it. -you do not have to be a runner -- just jog walk it.. YOU can do it all..

    emoticon a spark buddy Jo
    1391 days ago
    It has been a wild ride, and I am inspired by how you've stuck with you healthy lifestyle through the rough times!
    1391 days ago
  • KIMBERTA99 are an amazing person with amazing drive!! I love your attitude...letting go and relaxing is a great goal to work on. I have been working on those as well. You will succeed in your goals as look how far you have want it will get it!! Stay strong as always and I am so glad that we are sparkfriends!!

    1391 days ago
  • JESSIKA_56
    Awesome goals! If you ever need a running buddy (I walk, too!) I'm here for you!
    1391 days ago
    Carol, you will surely reach your goals, remember you are AWESOME !!! I like to thing you are more like Wonder Woman but of course she was AWESOME too !!! All I can say to you is what I do best .... HAVE FUN !!!

    HUGS to a good friend. Thanks for always being there.
    1391 days ago
    emoticon blog, Carol!! I am so PROUD of each and every one of your achievements! It has been an honor to be a part of your journey. You INSPIRE me on a daily basis. You are an EXTRAORDINARY role model to follow. There is no doubt in my mind that you WILL achieve your 2013 goals! I am cheering you all the way! Have a WOOHOO weekend!

    ~ Monika ~ emoticon
    1391 days ago
  • CYN1825
    Sorry for your loss in 2012. I am blessed to have both parents alive at 83 years old. But, I find myself wondering if they will be with me throughout 2013. I see them failing-particularly my father.
    But, if truth be known, I could be the first one to pass. That is always the mystery of life.
    I saw myself in your blog. But I also know that YOU taking care of yourself was probably important to your mother. My parents are divorced and Mom lives with me. I can tell you she is my commandant. "I didn't hear you this morning. Did you workout on the treadmill? How is the weight loss going?"
    I am sure your mother is proud of your progress. And, as a mother, I can say that my most proud moments are in the sucesses of my children.
    Go forward & conquer! You now have an angel watching over you!
    1391 days ago
    Great 2013 goals!! emoticon emoticon
    1391 days ago
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