Saturday, January 05, 2013
I've been sleep deprived and my thoughts are foggy. But I need to give voice to my inner ramblings...
The holiday has left my routine in shambles on the floor. Why is it so easy to put myself back on the bottom of the list? Every time, I do. But I don't want to give up, so I'm here to remind myself of a few of the thoughts that have fluttered through my brain over the past couple of weeks.
When I exercise, I sleep better. So I should start walking again already. I can be cold. I can be sore. I need to remember how I actually prefer it this way.
I need to be unwavering in my commitment to eat much healthier foods. We, as a family, do pretty well avoiding terrible food choices, but we all struggle with eating the best, nourishing things like vegetables. It's time to get tough.
When I feel unsure about what to do or what not to do, these things are obvious:
Diet soda is doing nothing for me. Drop it. Just do.
I love tea. I don't need creamy coffees at home every day. Just change the habit, already. The other night when we left "The Hobbit", it was nine degrees. We decided on coffee but it just didn't sound good, so I ordered a tea. It was lovely and not filling and I remembered how much I really love the stuff.
Make dinner healthy and important for my family. Insist on enough veggies every night.
Do whatever workout I want to do that day. Just do an hour of SOMETHING a day. Strength, outdoor walk, steps in front of a movie.
These changes are no small thing. I think the impact will be significant.
There's a big picture here and I am so quick to lose sight of it for the momentary satisfaction of warmth, comfort, and yummy. As I type this, I'm reminded me of the movie I just watched with my daughter.
The obvious take-away for me from the Hobbit is to get out of my hovel and have an adventure. At the end, you get buddies who have your back and a hug from Thorin. But to get there, there are all kinds of scary, snotty creatures who may use you for a tissue or a volleyball. There are scary, sad, skinny, depraved little guys who want to manipulate you, then smash you with a rock. And there are mean guys with obscene goiters who want to kill you and your friends. There are bad puppies. I so related to Mr. Baggins, lounging around his lovely home, just being Bilbo. When he was included in the plans of the guys with a mission, I was saying, "No! It's gonna be scary! You'll get tired!" This explains a lot about my nature, I guess. Dang you, Tolkien! You know me too well.
I can't believe I'm still in this place after all this time. I have an epic literary work to live and I'm stuck writing the world's longest introduction.
I want to live among you warriors who have fought hard and risen, victorious. I want to BE you. I've spent all this time considering the cost. Now I have only to DO it.
I have two very important photo sessions to do in March. Maybe even some before. I will begin the rest of my own college career by starting classes this Spring. I have a college graduation to attend in June. That of my first-born. SO proud! It's possible we will move. As the Summer progresses, I have Senior sessions to blow through. In the heat of August, my baby is planning to be married. For this, I am making two dresses and possibly offering a bit of photography before and after. I want to be strong, healthy, and happy then. I for sure need more energy than I feel today.
So you can see how 299 at 5'1" doesn't work for me and that everything I do everyday from here on will have an impact my experience of these wonderful things. Most people here with whom I have spent time communicating have had some wonderful success. Some of you have lost amazing amounts of weight and are enjoying a new healthy life. I'm going to do what I need to do to be one of you.