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    BOHEMIANCAT   73,263
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More About Work - Advice?


Saturday, January 05, 2013

Ok, now I need advice. I know I cannot work for my boss, but I still have not turned in my resignation.
My dear husband works there and plans to until he can retire, for both of us. He is a supervisor but is currently being raked over the coals by the boss.
This man ate him out in front of a room full of people.
Now dh is concerned that if I turn in my resignation now, that they will retaliate against him. Yes, I know this illegal, but it happens anyway.
What should I do?
He comes to my house before New Years and says he can't trust anyone but me to do the job and then he has the office manager tell me that I have to work full time or not have a job and that I won't be able to work from home, because, "he needs someone there."
I was feeling good about leaving but am now hurting because of what happened yesterday with my husband.
This is just a nightmare.
Any advice?
Please pray.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOHEMIANCAT 1/8/2013 8:37AM

    It is over. I resigned yesterday and said my goodbyes. Everyone said I would be missed. The boss was not there. He is mad at the whole office. I had a long talk with the office manager and the boss IS the problem! The election made him worse. That group can just handle it better than I could and they were not as much in the line of fire as I was, except for the Supervisors, one of which is still my husband.
He said he is going to look for another job too.

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RUFREE4T 1/6/2013 5:25PM

    Linda, I know you said you found a way. I have been thinking about it since I first read the post. The only thing I came up with was to ask your doctor for a letter stating that you cannot work for more than 20 hours a week. That would make it in his court to either fire you or let you work part time. So that might be another option.

Carol

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DOTTIEJANE1 1/6/2013 10:13AM

    Area council on aging is a great resourceas well as AARP, I agree document everything .

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SLIMMERJESSE 1/6/2013 12:50AM

    Get a good lawyer and sue this company for a hostile work environment for yourself and maybe your husband, if they retaliate. You may find others a have a class action suit if more have been treated like this. Sounds like this bully has been pulling this b.s. for a long time in this company. Document everything - keep a legal pad and list date, time, what is said and done, etc. You're going to get sick if this level of stress continues for a long period of time. Good luck.

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DEBBY4576 1/5/2013 7:50PM

    Wow. It's bad enough that one of your works for a company unable to treat their employees right. But both of you? How far is it to your husband's reitrement? I've heard of many companies that start charting an employees "performance" with a lot of inaccurate info, then are able to let them go. And all this is because they don't want to give the reitrement pkg. They even lay the people 55 and older off first becauase of this. Always covering their asses. Just a thought, and doesn't help you two at all. I'd do what my husband felt comfortable with, because you certainly don't wnat him blaming you for what was going to happen anyway.

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TRESSWANN 1/5/2013 7:48PM

    Like Kaseycoff's analysis.
And document, document, document

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MARTY19 1/5/2013 6:15PM

    YIKES! What a terrible situation. I don't know what I would do.

Marty

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2WHEELEDSHARON 1/5/2013 1:46PM

    Do you have access to an Employee Assistance Program? My boss is a a nightmare too, and her boss doesn't care, so I think I'm going to try our EAP. Sorry you're going through this.

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LECATES 1/5/2013 12:33PM

    Sounds like a difficult situation---boss is probably just not a happy person---is the office manager the real problem? do they have a hold over your boss? But I can see that if you were able to do the work at home, then they could say they don't need the position. Can you go back and try for a while or at least train the one to replace you? this is just not fair---and seems like no one cares about people anymore. Prayer sounds like the answer.

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KASEYCOFF 1/5/2013 10:26AM

    Is the boss you directly work for the same one your husband works for?

If so, I'm also concerned he will take it out on your husband if you leave, but all you can do about that is track, very carefully, what the boss says and does - your husband will need to do that too. If it ever comes down to a grievance hearing or anything, you both may need to be prepared.

What happens if you go in but do a poor job? That is, call off sick... go home early every few days, saying you're ill... things like that. If the boss needs you so bad, would you be fired?

If you're fired rather than resigning, what happens with unemployment? pension? benefits?

Why will this boss not consider a 'jobshare' for you? That is, you and another person work half-and-half. The other person would learn the ropes while you're still there; the boss would have full-time staff in that position; the new person would be (presumably) earning less pay than you do for those equivalent hours; and when you're ready to retire or quit, the new person will be able to do the job.

Seems to me that's a win-win situation all the way around.

I wonder if there's a hidden agenda going on. Has the boss's budget been cut behind the scenes? That is, if you go to part-time or leave altogether, will he now not be allocated a full-time replacement for your position?

Are you sure the message given to you by the office manager really came from the boss? Was it passed along to you accurately, or did the office manager get something wrong, misinterpreting something?

Another thing that occurred to me: whether you leave now or in two years, what if the boss (or whoever's in charge at that time) decides to take it out on your husband because you leave? In which case - even if you stick around for another year or two - then what?

I know it's illegal to try to hold your resignation against your husband - you know it, your husband knows it, your boss knows it. But except for getting into the morass of evidence and records and he said / she said, I don't know how you can keep it from happening unless you and your DH are prepared to get down and dirty with the employer.

Thoughts and prayers, though, are always good, thinks me...
emoticon

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JENAE954 1/5/2013 10:13AM

  How important is it?
Is the boss just blowing smoke or serious?
It is important to be honest and true to yourself.
Is there a possibility you could just put in a few hours more in the office and give yourself time to think all this thru?

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