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    DSBRIDE   58,142
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Question??

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Today I want to pose a question that is really bothering me. I'm on facebook with a group of people that are all trying to lose weight. We follow each others progress and usually cheer each other on. The other day, I saw a post that someone thinks that you should be called on the carpet if you are not performing up to par. They are tired of seeing people making encouraging remarks when those people are not really working hard.

They don't want to see any remarks encouraging any excuses or sliding backwards, and think that only those that truly deserve it should recieve a kudos. They have gone so far as to unfriend anyone who encourages those that they believe are slackers, but do not unfriend the slackers themselves.

So my question is, what do you think? Should encouragement be only for the truly deserving?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAMAJAM 1/8/2013 12:08PM

  Good comments here, and Susan, I like your "two cents"--- I recall seeing a TV program where several obese women were assembled in a room, waiting for the "expert" to come to speak to them about healthy weight loss. The psychologist came into the room, walking down a staircase, looking like a Miss America. The women all looked at each other with great annoyance--- thinking what can she dare to teach us. Soon after her entrance, the "Miss America" lovely began to speak. Her audience showed zero interest------ UNTIL---- this lovely woman produced her very own "before" pictures. Her pictures were of the obese woman she once was.
Suddenly--then---there was an attentive audience.

This story shows that we like to think our teacher has true empathy for us.

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HZGLORY 1/7/2013 1:00AM

    Noreen this is just one woman's Two cents.

I have tried to lose weight with several different organizations and none have helped me do that more than Spark. The reason it is working for me, is because of the human contact and support. With weight watchers they had us weigh in, in front of other people and some skinny woman gave you her 2-cents about that weight gain or loss and then you would gather in a large group and people would share what they wanted about the questions asked, but there was never any interaction between the people in the program. So slowly people would drop out one by one.

Then there was Jenny Craig who you met with one "counselor" (just an employee that never needed to lose weight in their lives) and she would give you a little pep talk but she would never let you share your weaknesses or needs of help so that quickly fizzled out.

Then Slim-genics that had a little shpeel from a gal in medical scrubs about they could help you do the amazing if you just bought all their products and followed their plan by the book. Turns out they had no medical anything, they had not ever lost weight themselves, and they expected you to come and talk to one of them (20 somethings) each week and get publicly weighed and get told off if you did something wrong.

Okay what is my point. Other than spark I have never found a place that I could say here is what I am struggling with and I need help. Or, I really blew it and I want to do better but I had a bad week, or I can't do it that way but this works for me what do you think. No balance out there. I think Spark works because we have all been there, we have all done well and done terrible and we support each other no matter what.

Now if I made excuses every time I blogged or just talked about sliding backwards week after week after week, I think people would slowly move on from me, but that is not the case with most dieters. We have good days and bad days, excellent days and depressing days. But here we say you are still here, yes, you made mistakes, but here is what you did right, you are still trying, you can do it, you can make the right choices I believe in you. And that makes us want to not hide those very things we need to face to change and find new ways to handle. I love spark for that. If I had shared a bad day or week and someone turned their back on me or lectured me or put me down I would have been out of here asap. What kind of friends do that? To me that group does not sound like it handles things appropriately. Yes it is very nice to be positive, but not always possible. Good luck there my friend I would have said adios after one "unfriending", but again that is my 2-cents. Susan







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GEORGE815 1/6/2013 11:51AM

    What a dilemma. Might be a case by case evaluation. I can see both sides very clearly. If someone is trying and not succeeding, do we desire support or motivation? We are all different.
Losing weight is a difficult business. It can be very complicated. Many factors why we would want to lose weight. The holidays we may have over indulged. New year is a time for resolutions. What a collision.
Personal long time friends may be able to say just the right thing. Blogging and internet communication is to fluid and unpredictable.

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CROWLEY123 1/6/2013 8:27AM

    Not at all, I think it is those that are struggling to keep up, or stay on track that need the MOST encouragement.
I would not give false praise, for not trying, but I would try to encourage and motivate and support their efforts as much as anyone else's.
Follow your own conscience. Do what works for you, and others should do the same, don't you think?


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ALICIAYOUNG1127 1/5/2013 3:31PM

    that is a tough question, and I dont have the answer..except who cares what they think or if they unfriend you..that's on them..you do what you feel is right

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