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Good, Bad, Ugly, and Some Wisdom from Dolly Parton

Saturday, January 05, 2013

I should be asleep now, but I'm too worked up. It was a "the good, the bad, and the ugly" kind of day.

1. After going to bed early last night, I slept 9 hours and still got up at 5. I got caught up on some emails and colored my hair.
2. My hair color turned out perfectly. With my new haircut, I am really happy with my hair. You will not read this very often from me.
3. I found a fantastic sheath dress - a very expensive one - that not only looks good on me, but was also half price plus an additional 20% off!
4. It took a hell of a lot of doing, but I found the perfect blazer to go with said dress
5. My car is fixed and I can pick it up tomorrow!

1. I hate malls. I spent today in two of them
2. I only have one outfit and a blouse to show for it
3. The skirt I bought is actually too small in retrospect and will have to go back
4. Punim was alone most of the day

1. I ate in the most disgusting way possible today. I didn't track and I estimate I went over by about 2000 calories.
2. The size 12 pants I bought back in November are too tight
3. I didn't work out at all, except for walking.
4. I seem to have given up on the cardio. I think I figured it out though. Because I know that my new schedule will make it difficult to work out, I just sort of quit doing it. Now there is nothing wrong with relying on the speed walking, but I have time NOW and ought to be using it wisely!
5. No word from the lady doctor on all the tests. This means another week of not having the help I need to escape the hormonal roller coaster.
6. I'll have to go shopping again this weekend.

I gave myself a free pass today to eat all the crap in the world. But I'm revoking that pass this instant. There has got to be a better way. The anxiety is here, and people telling me NOT to be anxious aren't helping. Honestly, I don't know what will.

Change is tough, but right now, I'm pretty much about to change everything.

New schedule
First car in 17 years
New job
Being the "new kid" for the first time in 11 years
All the new people, responsibilities, and fear of failure
Fear of office BS
Less time with my dog
Longer commute
Less time to work out. Seriously, how am I supposed to do an hour of cardio every day when I have to get up at 5 just to leave for work on time? I'll get home at around 6, maybe a bit later. I'll need to spend time with the dog (speed walking) but then work out, eat dinner and then bed? Is that all possible in four hours?

I'm having a ton of "free floating anxiety" right now, so I'll stop here. I could go on and on. I need to focus on this new opportunity and all the good it will bring. I'll work it out somehow. But until then, things will be pretty tense around here.

The answer is NOT FOOD. It's the problem, if I let it be.

One last thing. After I wrote my blog this morning (ok, yesterday morning now,) I had the song 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton in my head for hours. Not the part about "it's all takin' and no givin'" but the part where she sings, "It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it." So all of this change doesn't have to drive me crazy, because I can take control and not let it. I'm not quite sure how this works. Perhaps it is time to practice that meditation I spent learning this past summer.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sweetie, I sure know about the food and lack of exercise. My overeating and lack of exercise had to do with my depression and not anxiety. I find it hilarious that people feel they can tell us not to feel a certain way! We feel it! Maybe we could work harder on decreasing the negative feelings, but they are what they are! But, no one has the right to tell us not to feel a certain way. And, I know, as a professional, that we have to go thru it to get out of it! I do believe in focussing on the positives in our lives! Great hair? How lucky are you? Funny, I'm loving my hair right now too, but the stress and depression has brought out more gray, so color next time around! Hee. Great dress with a matching blazer? Awesome! New car? So it had a problem, but now it is fixed and it will take you to and from your fabulous new job where you will excel and be loved! Office BS? Always happens, no escape. Find the people who believe in you and who you believe in and stick to them! We don't have to be friends with everyone we work with! We certainly don't need to be liked by everyone even if that is what we believe! Those who don't like us are usually jealous. And, think of how wonderful time spent with your precious pooch will be each day! I know when I'm gone all day when I get home time with Jack is very special! You will make it all work! I have faith in you. It will work, so work with the anxiety. Let it propel you and help instead of hinder and let us both just step away from the food! Sending positive vibes your way for the best work week of your life! Kisses to your baby!
    1776 days ago
    You'll work it out honey. You may find your schedule may need to be flexible in that you may have to find creative ways of fitting your fitness - it may change from day to day - but you'll find a way to make it work. Praying for you... hugs, Karen
    1776 days ago
    You'll find a balance - trust me. You and I are going to be on very similar schedules now (or it looks like according to your blog). Yes, it seems daunting but trust me, you will find ways to make everything work.
    1777 days ago
    It's so easy for me to stress out after days like that. If you don't control your day, it WILL control you.

    Today is a new day. Start fresh today. Fit in some cardio when you can. It seems you'll be doing a lot of walking. Wear your pedometer every day. Walking counts as cardio if you pick up the pace a bit. I walk at work A LOT!! By the time I leave work after being there for 9-1/2 hours, I usually have about 8000 steps.

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    1778 days ago
    changes like you are dealing with beg for meditation, just to get the free floating anxiety under control. with that, you may not worry so much and then see the path you need to walk or the plan you need to plan.
    1778 days ago
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