Friday, January 04, 2013
Down the gym tonight, half hour workout and nearly as long under the shower. Blimey it is wonderful to have a shower when it's your first for two days and you are normally a two bath a day girl. To quote Queen Elizabeth the First as personified by Miranda Richardson I felt 'a bit SMELLLLY'. I doubt I was actually smelly, as I do know how to use a basin full of hot water, but the truth is there's nowt like scrubbing up proper, is there?
So, there I am damp and clean as a whistle, putting The Sports Bra back on. You've heard me on the subject before. Resistance bands? Who needs them. Just getting into a sports bra is as tough a workout as I can deal with. Guys, you don't know what you're missing.
This evening was in a class of its own. I was in a hurry getting dressed as it was five minutes to closing time and I managed to get a twist in the back of the bra and put it on without noticing till I realised that I couldn't move because of a constriction around the bottom of my cervical vertebrae. I certainly couldn't do the blighter up - it's a front loader and my technique for doing it up is to yank the edges of the zip together just under my chin, do it up, and then reach down the front of the bra where my cleavage OUGHT to be and pull the components of my cleavage up into the bra by force.
Is this TMI?
So, there I am, stuck. I identified the cause of the problem all right, cos I couldn't get the front edges to meet. However it's one thing to know you've tied your bra in knots round the back of your neck, and another to get out of it again. I had visions of going to the front desk like that to ask for help, it was so tight.
After a panicky ten seconds or so I managed to wriggle free, and collapsed, panting, against the door of the cubicle.
Do things like this happen to other people, or is it just me?
Here's the incomparable Miranda Richardson being Liz I. I couldn't find the 'a bit smellly' clip but I can guarantee this will gross you out if you guess what is actually in the wine bottle.