Friday, January 04, 2013
eight times. I am 40 lbs from a comfortable, healthy weight so I need to lose 5 lbs, eight times. That's all. Simple, right? Sure, it's simple. I just wish simple meant easy but, as most of us learn the hard way, the most valuable things often require a certain amount of discomfort and dedication and discipline.
I am basically posting this blog to reconnect with Spark, because I have been so hit or miss lately. I miss connecting with Sparkfriends.
I also want to turn around the self-destructive spiral of weight gain and isolation. I regained 22 or so pounds, of 30 lost. I am not a hopeless case, just a particularly stubborn and difficult case, apparently.
When I lost 30 lbs, beginning two years ago this month, the winning (or losing, if you will) combination was basically this: spending ample time on Spark, tracking and connecting with people and being accountable. Eating a good breakfast, having a satisfying lunch, fixing a simple but nutritious dinner, snacking less during the day, and not eating at all between dinner and bedtime. Making sleep a priority, and taking care of "the business of daily living" i.e. housework and paperwork and phone calls and errands and all the things that can easily pile up when one avoids them, was also key.
Someone I know, and care about, wanted me to pay hundreds of dollars to join a weight loss challenge sponsored by a nutritional supplement company. I respectfully declined. I made a vow long ago not to pay people to tell me to eat less, and the program laid out was very complicated. I know I need to keep things simple. It was uncomfortable to say no, but people pleasing is an unhealthy way to live and also, in my experience, directly leads to weight gain. Saying no, and meaning it, is an inescapable part of improving one's health. Saying no to excess food, to hours on the couch, to people we care about who want us to do something that costs us too much whether it be money, or integrity - saying no and meaning it is uncomfortable but gets easier with each time that simple but powerful word is uttered, with meaning. So, will I lose 5 pounds, eight times? It is certainly possible. I have zero intention of dying early due to excess weight, or living out the rest of my life feeling like I am carrying around a Snuggli (you know, those baby carriers) full of fat, so the only option is to do what needs to be done. I appreciate knowing that there are people here who offer encouragement when what needs to be done seems like an unappealing choice, versus what I feel like doing. Doing whatever I feel like, in the moment, hour after hour, day after day, won't take me anywhere I want to be. That being said, it isn't like I need to live a perfect existence in order to be healthy. Perfect and better aren't even remotely the same thing. Better, I can be - perfect isn't even in my realm of existence. Thanks for "listening", Sparklers.