Friday, January 04, 2013
My body feels weird to me. My legs, chest, belly and arms feel strange when I pat them in bed or when I wash them in the shower. It's like parts of me are missing. I have been this thin before. I lost weight before during a period of stress, not unlike the one I experienced this fall. I shouldn't feel weird because I've been this weight many times before. However, I do feel weird. It like my legs don't look like my legs, etc. I don't know when this uncomfortable feeling will go away.
I look at a full length mirror at the gym or at home and I think I look much thinner than I feel. I feel my chest under my breasts and I feel my ribs. I can feel my hip bones poking out. I feel my stomach and it still have a bit of padding. The back and front of my thighs still look soft and jiggly when I wear shorts. In leggings and skinny jeans, my legs look much thinner. It's like it's an illusion. It's like depending on the way that I sit or stand if I'm thin or fat. It's like I look one way and I'm still fat and I look another and I'm too thin.