Friday, January 04, 2013
I am a compulsive eater. There. I said it. I have been compulsively eating all of my life. I will make a nice, healthy meal, eat it, and then two minutes later follow it with a bowl of cereal, or a sandwich, or some soup, or all three! I can usually go maybe at the most a week without compulsively eating but then something in me will get an urge for something sweet, even if I just ate. So I'll have a small bowl of cereal or a pb&j. Problem is, after that, I'll crave something salty. So after the sugar I'll have some chicken or a ham and cheese sandwich. And sometimes, I just can't stop there. I have to keep going, keep eating everything I see until my stomach hurts.
I recently read a post on Sparkpeople that discussed the difference between emotional eating and compulsive eating. After admitting to myself that I am a compulsive eater, I was able to identify when I was doing it and try to stop. Key word: TRY. It isn't easy. When I catch myself craving food after I just ate I'll try to distract myself with something else or convince myself that I don't need it. It never works! I'll end up eating anyways. And worst is now that I know, I'll be counting the calories in everything I shove down my throat, but I still can't stop. When I finish, I feel sick because knowing all of the extra calories I consumed in twenty minutes after spending a whole day eating healthy and exercising makes me feel both guilty and literally sick. I don't know what to do!
I've started filling my days with a lot of busy work to keep my mind off of the food. Hopefully this works because other wise, I'm out of options.