Night before last, my husband received a call from his brother that they would be in town heading back from a trip to Colorado and wanted to see us the next night. So, last night, we met up with them at their hotel and went to dinner. The reason this is such a treat for me is that they have three of the most precious children I have ever laid eyes on. Okay...okay....maybe I'm a tiny bit biased being their aunt, but these three hold a very special place in my heart (and by special, I mean they stand on a sky high pedestal!)
They have one son 6, and two daughters, 5 and the other 6 months. I would love to share a pic here, but I don't feel comfortable posting a pic of them on the internet for all the world to see without my brother in law's permission. They fiercely protect their little angels and I don't blame them one bit for that! Anyway, I took a real shining to the baby and my sis-in-law just hands her to me whenever we are around. I don't know if I just have this begging type of look on my face or what, but she usually winds up in my arms for the long haul when we are all together. Anyway, she's one of those babies that makes the urge for having children almost unbearable!
I think my sister in law said it best when she said, "She gives you baby fever, doesn't she?"
YES!!! She does!
Which brings me to my next thought. I feel like going ahead and sharing here, because I know I won't be judged harshly for anything I say. One of my biggest motivators right now for losing weight (and believe me not the only one, but just one factor) is so I can HEALTHILY start a family. My husband and I desire children if that is what God desires for us. I don't want to enter a pregnancy with an obesity issue. Not. At. All. One of my close friends did this, and had the roughest pregnancy I have ever seen in my life. I also fear that my weight will hinder me from having a baby. Infertility runs rampantly through my family (which is why I have no siblings OR cousins)...yes, that's right...I'm an only GRANDchild as my husband likes to tell people!
I watched my aunt agonize the rest of her life due to her infertility and didn't find out until after she was deceased that her weight had been a considerable factor in being unable to conceive. Now as a believer, I know that it's ultimately not up to me, and I have to trust in that. But, I also believe that it's my responsibility to take care of my body and ensure that if/when I do conceive, I am providing the healthiest living environment for a fetus.
Therefore, I will NOT give up this fight. I'm going to believe that since I have lost weight in the past, I can do it again. I HAVE made positive changes. Even last night, with my brother in law insisting on taking us out to dinner, I stuck right to it and ate what I was supposed to. That's a positive change all in itself! I know one thing I have learned from the last year is that small changes take place over a long period of time. I knew I had done something admirable when I mentioned the other day to a friend that I have been dieting/exercising for the last 7 months and she looked totally shocked! That's been my main problem! I have never stuck to anything for this long. And, I'm willing to keep pushing at it until I find what works for me.
Thanks spark friends for listening, encouraging, and believing in me. Y'all are the best!!!