Friday, January 04, 2013
Lewis told his five-year-old daughter Stella to say her prayers before she went to sleep. She said, “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. And good-bye, Grandpa.” Before he could ask her why she said good-bye to her grandfather, Stella was asleep. The next day, Grandpa died.
That night as Stella dozed off, Lewis heard her say, “God bless Mommy and Daddy. And good-bye, Grandma.” The next day, Grandma died.
That night as she drifted off, he heard Stella say, “God bless Mommy, and good-bye, Daddy.” The next day at work Lewis was such a nervous wreck that he didn’t get out of his chair until midnight. When he got home, he told his wife, “I’m fine now, but I just had the worst day of my life!”
She said, “Me, too! In the middle of my lesson, my tennis instructor dropped dead!”
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happen to pass by the beer cooler. One nun said to the other, "Wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening."
The second nun answered, "Indeed it would sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, as I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand."
"I can handle that without a problem," she replied as she replied up a six-pack and headed for the check-out.
The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nums arrived with a six-pack of beer.
"We use beer for washing our hair" the nun said. "A shampoo, if you will."
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, "The curlers are on the house."