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    NIKIZ628   41,042
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Here goes..everything.

Thursday, January 03, 2013

I knew I had to wait til after the holidays before I could even attempt to fix all the mistakes I have made with my weight. I knew I had to make a lot of changes and there was so much chaos here, it would have only set me up for yet another failure.

So here I am. New Year. New me...the same old cliche we all chant at midnight on New Years Eve.

I am back at square 1. I was 160 when I got pregnant with my son in 2010. I was 172 when I was released post partum. I hit my goal weight of 130 in the summer of 2011. And today, I sit here at 155. A 25 pound gain. Unfortunately that isn't over a year and half period. I managed to keep off most of my weight until about a year ago. I gained about 10 lbs back over the summer. For some reason, in the last couple of months, I gained the majority of it. I don't feel like I have eaten more or exercised less. But clearly, that is what has happened.

As frustrating as starting over is, its my only choice. I can't pick up in the middle and pretend it was just a slip up. It was a full assasination of my previous healthy self. So, the beginning again it is.

I am slowly working back into this. I am sick now, so exercise is pretty much out of the question. I can barely muster enough energy to take care of my 2 year old, let alone squeeze in a workout. So for now, I am focusing on my portion sizes and eliminating fast food. I figure by next week I will be feeling well enough for exercise, and will work in some sort of workout each day. Contrary to my former plan, I am not specifying what day will be what...because when I don't follow it, I only end up feeling worse about myself, which starts that downhill spiral of failure for me.

That's about all I have for now. I just hope I get myself back in that mindset that brought me success once before.

We are going to Florida/Disney in 5 months. I don't want to be the fat girl hiding on the beach under a tshirt. I won't be the fat girl.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VANICIS 1/5/2013 3:34AM

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SHARONA_P 1/4/2013 2:30PM

    It's always frustrating to start over and look back at how we let ourselves slip. Just look forward, consider what you will do differently. Two years ago I was kicking ass and taking names, running like a maniac. I'm 40 pounds heavier post baby and I couldn't run a mile if my life counted on it. our life and our bodies go through phases. Find your new goal and move yourself forward. You did it before, you can do it again!


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MRS.DOYLE 1/4/2013 4:05AM

    I know how you feel. When my daughter was two I put back all the weight I had lost after she was born. It is a very stressful time and takes "baby steps" to get back to normal.....which you will definitely do. Don't worry.
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LIBBYL1 1/4/2013 1:32AM

  Good luck!

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PINK_NEVAEH22 1/3/2013 10:48PM

    Your back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coming to Disney huh??? That is an hour and a half from me :) Don't fret about the slip ups or what you did in the past, you realize what you need to do and more importantly you realize what causes you to spiral. Same with me. We can do this, you were much better then I and helped me stay a float many times so I know you have it in you. Stay strong!!!!! You got this! BTW I am sick too lol so I am also not starting exercise until it passes. Breastfeeding kicks your butt when your sick too, so hard to stay hydrated! Talk to you soon xoxoxox emoticon

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NUMD97 1/3/2013 4:58PM

    We are hardest on ourselves, that's for sure. The fact that you realize you need to "give in" to your illness is very wise. You need to recover, have strength in order to move forward.

Know, too, that portion control and good eating is the lion's share of weight loss, so that's a good move as well. The portion tracker over time will point you in the right direction, when you need to analyze why something is not working for you. Many have remarked that that alone is an eyeopener.

Keep in mind that SP is a supportive community for the most part, and reaching out there will always be a helping hand.

Best of luck as your journey to better health continues.

Just know that together emoticon

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All the best,

Nu

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KMHOADLEY 1/3/2013 4:47PM

    Hi there! I just restarted my journey as well. I saw your blog while browsing new entries. Hope you dont mind my commenting but please feel free to add me. Back in 2009-2010 I lost 130 lbs then had an injury and I gained back 60 or so lbs. I can identify with your post because I felt the same way last week with the new year coming and a recent drs visit that didnt go so well that I just had to start fresh. Due to my injury I am limited to going to an indoor pool a few times a week. Its mostly going to be strict accountability with my nutrition. Good luck to you and have a fun trip!

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SUNSHINE99999 1/3/2013 4:46PM

  You go girl and get it done. emoticon

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