Thursday, January 03, 2013
I have PCOS. Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS has cursed me with incompetent womb and a 5 o'clock shadow that shows up everyday about six hours too early (SCREW YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!). If being a hundred pounds overweight wasn't enough to keep the groves of men off of me, the competing beard surely did it. Havin facial hair has cramped my self esteem for so long. I have spent years experimenting with every product you can think of. Nair did nothing but burn my skin and make me itch. Plucking takes too long and is painful. I have had my chin, neck and sideburns threaded. It hurt like crap and my body responded by covering my throat in little, red, razor-like bumps. I have been prescribed Vaniqa and while it SLOWS THE GROWTH of the facial hair, it has only helped to reduce my need to shave to EVERY OTHER day and broken my bank account. It costs $124 a tube!!! OH HELL NO!
I have been going back and forth with the idea of laser hair removal. I talked to my dermatologist about it. He is an grouchy old man who has been in practice over 40 years. His response: "You're Black. It won't work." (Ok, forget Mother Nature. SCREW YOU MR. DOCTOR MAN!) Three years later, I finally bit the bullet and made an appointment. Yesterday was my first treatment.
First things first. Does it hurt? Depends. My underarms (They threw them in for free. Their hairiness must have offended them
) were so easy. It felt like someone was spraying my underarms with bug spray. There was a little burn afterwards. My sideburns burned a little more but were pretty much more of the same. My neck. Oh honey, my neck. I don't know how many times I called on Jesus. He must have been busy.
Basically, it smelled like perm and burnt hair and it felt like I was being slapped with whip dipped in peroxide. BUT, it only lasted about two minutes.
So let's talk costs since I know there are other bearded ladies out there. I got my sideburns, chin, neck, jawline and underarms done. I will have a total of 5 sessions over 36 weeks. I will also receive life-time touchups for a $40 co-pay. So what did it cost? $5600. Ok, don't fall over. Let me tell you how affordable it is. In a matter of a few minutes I was approved for in-house financing with no interest. And if I am being honest, I have good credit but not great credit and i was approved for up to $6000. They then divide that amount up over 36 months. I will make a payment of $160 a month. And I will no longer have to shave my face while my man sleeps so he doesn't know his fiance has a chin strap. That alone is enough to validate the cost. But also, the laser shrinks the pores which will tighten the skin and reduce scarring from hair bumps. It's like getting a mini neck lift and peel in one sitting! And when I throw away my $124 a tube of Vaniqa and all the other products I have tested on myself, it will be like spending $30 a month.
There goes my experience and this blog was in no way endorsed by Ideal Imaging!