Thursday, January 03, 2013
I'm a little emotional saying goodbye to 2012 and saying hello to a new year with new challenges.
2012 was a HUGE year for me, because I lost 125 pounds and gained a whole new life for myself that I never thought was possible. However, this blog entry is not about me getting all sentimental and dramatic about the changes in my life. This entry is about something I wanted to share that most people would find surprising...
When I saw my family at Christmas, I really didn't hear anything about my appearance. And for the first time in my life, I was fine with that. When I told my co-workers about this, they were very surprised, but I also live in an area where people tend to be a lot more demonstrative with their emotions than my family is. I'm far and away the most demonstrative person in my family when it comes to expressing my feelings, and it was something I struggled with for years, since my expectations from my family were a lot greater than the reality of the situation.
Yes, the last time I saw my dad and my brother and his family prior to my trip a week and a half ago, I was at my fattest point EVER. The last time I had seen my mom was in May when I was still over 200 pounds. But they really didn't say anything about the dramatic changes in my appearance when they saw me this time. However, they also didn't say much of anything when I was at my fattest either. They love me, no matter what the package wrapping looks like; they just want me to be happy.
I talked to my mom about this last night and how it wasn't a big deal to me like it was in the past, because I know that ultimately, I lost the weight for ME. NOT to impress anyone or make anyone else happy or to improve my dating prospects, but for one person and one person alone: ME. My own sense of accomplishment and the knowledge that I can do so many more things that were so difficult before eclipses any compliment that I may receive. Granted, I'm grateful to receive the compliments, but that's not why I did this.
So I look back on 2012 and feel good that not only am I in a healthier body, I have a healthier mind, with an attitude of gratitude, and less of a need for external validation. That is priceless.