Thursday, January 03, 2013
I don't want to make a nuicance of myself by blogging too often, but it seems to help to get my thoughts penned down at least once a day.
Currently I feel like munching my heart out - so frustrated I can barely hold it!
Just sooo many challenges coming my way! My middle kid is a complete scatterbrain and its a daily fight to get her to clean her room, brush her hair, heck even bath time is a struggle! Coz on her way to the bathroom, she sees something else she wants to do, and half an hour later and 5 reminders later, she's still not doing what she's supposed to do!
Now her bag for visiting her granny has been only halfway packed, and granny phoned me to bring them back early, insinuating (again) that its my fault that she doesn't have her undies packed. She's on my case about "thanking my sister" for the gift (its an old tale, treating me like a damn kid again!), frustrating the hellout of me and questioning my choices I made when shopping (EVERYTHING I do is always questioned!) and I feel completely out of control, frustrated beyond measure and if I could I'd just crawl back into my hole and stay there.
Work was challenging - I had to phone 30 parents about kids I haven't even met and I HATE phoning - I wanted to quit my job by lunch time!
Lots of small irritations just piling up today!!
My feet are not cooperating even with the minimum walking i have to do from the one office to the other (probably DID hurt it a bit with yesterday's walking again) and I feel hyperly stupid to try anything exercise wise sitting down. Its just totally out of my frame of reference and adds to my frustration!
My pc packed up 4 weeks ago and I now have to share my husband's - which brings its share of frustrations too.
I'm hoping just getting these little thoughts out in the open will prevent me from building up pressure and bingeing - coz I REALLY REALLY feel like munching my frustrations away!
Trying to focus on positives here... uhm... ok.
The jean I bought sits real nice (I'll try and ignore that its a size larger since I bought clothes last year). I havent eaten anything outside my planned meals ... yet. I remembered to fill up my water bottle at work twice instead of drinking coffee, survived 20 minutes of shopping after work, were nice to complete strangers without freaking out and running, I hated phoning but by the 9th call I felt a bit more comfortable doing it, my new boss brought me a trinket from her visit to India (she's sure a sweety)...
School is starting next week, and I don't know how I'm gonna buy my kids school supplies, let alone pay their school fees....
I'm sorry, maybe I should keep a private diary instead. Only thing is, making this blog public, forces me to be accountable and not go into a self-absorbant cycle of self-pity... and bingeing, and abandoning it all.