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    KIWIANN   90,589
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints

Standing in Hope!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Today I changed my profile image. I chose another butterfly picture. emoticon Butterflies are beautiful, and beauty is always uplifting for me. Usually when I am looking for something beautiful, the first images to catch my eye are things breathtakingly majestic - mountains, oceans, sunsets, etc.

The slideshows for my desktop background and screensaver are filled with images like that. When I am looking for images for my SparkPage, it seems I am more attracted to the delicate beauty of flowers and butterflies. As much as I love majesty and grandeur in nature, I long for serenity, peace and gentleness in my personal life.
Images of butterflies remind me of hope and promise, and standing at the beginning of 2013 that is what I see for this year. I certainly didn't leave 2012 barreling forward with great momentum, but I did have a stretch of positive momentum from August through October which gives me confidence that it is possible! I look forward to the days ahead with the hope that I can rekindle that momentum and stretch it through the year!
I recently celebrated my 4-year Spark Anniversary. Today I spent some time looking through my Spark History. It has been through its ups and downs, times when I have been faithful and times I have completely neglected it for long stretches.
I started 4 years ago weighing in at 235. I start 2013 weighing in at 236. So that makes a 4-year progress of +1!
The lowest weight I have achieved to date with Sparkpeople was 210 in the fall of 2009. I started 2012 weighing 243, and reached a life-time high of 249 in June 2012. My lowest weigh-in for 2012 was 232 on Oct. 30 and was back to 238 by Dec. 1.
With all of the good and the bad that 2012 held - all of the ups and downs not just in weight but in all of the threads that make up the fabric of my life - I ended the year with a net loss of 7 pounds for the year and a much better understanding of myself.
One of the big lessons I learned in 2012, is that this sight is infinitely better when you take advantage of the community aspect! I spent the first three and a half years on SP with a private page and no interaction with other members. Making my profile public in August and taking the time to get to know other members, to encourage and be encouraged, was the best decision I have made with SP. Incidentally, in the two months that my weight has crept up again, I have barely made time for my SP friends.
Thank you to all of my SparkFriends for being with me through these ups and downs, and I look forward to celebrating lots of victories together in 2013!!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DEBPRE16 1/3/2013 3:50PM

    You can do it! You never threw in the towel and gave up and that is great!


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SAINTBETH 1/3/2013 10:08AM

    I'm glad we have you here on SP, too!

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GINNJEN1974 1/3/2013 8:59AM

    We all struggle here. I know how that is and hope that in this coming year I too can do better and not slip away as I tend too.

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LWADE1963 1/2/2013 11:55PM

    beautiful pictures. i also love butterflies. it reminds me of when my dad died 4 yrs ago. i went to the cemetary to visit him. as i was standing there crying, i look up and saw 2 beautiful butterflies fluttering above the grave. it was great and gave me hope that my life will go on always remembering my dad in my thoughts.

i havent been very successful in my spark journey either. it is my own fault though. this is gonna be the year of success for me. '

together we can do this

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MATTEROFHEART 1/2/2013 11:50PM

    So proud of you for your honesty and perseverance! I am glad to be your Spark Friend and look forward to making great progress with you in the new year! I am here for you, SparkFriend!

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ESCHLETZ 1/2/2013 11:43PM

    We are all in this together, and I believe, like you realized this year, that support from others who understand what you're trying to do, makes the biggest impact on what you are working on.
Like you I have had those ups and downs, and as you said as well I'm using them as a learning curve. Those downs don't mean we failed, it just means we needed to be reminded about what didn't work for us. If you run into a brick wall over and over again eventually you've got to figure it out that you have to find a different way around it.
Here's to building bridges, digging tunnels, growing wings or whatever other way we can bypass that wall.

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GR8ERJOY 1/2/2013 11:06PM

    Good luck to you. It sounds as if you've learned so much and made the type of progress you can't see on the scale. You've persevered even though it's not been easy and you're still here. Not giving up. Be proud of that and search for the peace within you that can bring the calm you seek in life. emoticon

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