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    SHOES17   28,089
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Simply SPASTASTIC Made me think!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

One of my good friends is a counselor. A large portion of her work includes helping children with attachment issues and fears. She uses unique techniques to reach her clients such has incorporating therapy dogs into their sessions. She is really super kewl! I often think of her when I see the advertisements for A Dog With a Blog.


Not to long ago she was talking about how people who have lost a lot of weight are the really the absolute worst about looking down on those that are heavy. She also commented on how they tended to have problems with self image despite the fact that their current bodies reflect a normal weight appearance. The conversation ended with us pondering why people yo yo between extremes, seeing themselves as thin or really fat.

I can't help but wonder if our actions and reactions to people and their appearance is directly impacted by our own personal fears. Is it possible that we actually look down and despise others based on our own fears? Is it the fear of obesity itself that causes UGLY reactions or it is simply the way we feel about ourselves being externally expressed?

How will I respond to people that I meet today? I am going to work on it and at very least be aware of it!

How you doin??
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAUGHTEROFTWIN 1/4/2013 11:44AM

    Absolutely! People harshly "judge" and criticize those things they are 1) jealous of and 2) fear is a "negative" trait in themselves. It applies to all aspects of life, not just obesity. It seems people who have low self esteem tend to be the harshest critics of others.

When I first started Spark this time last year, I read a wonderful featured blog by another member. I wish I could remember who it was, but that was so long ago and before I was involved in the community at all. Anyway, she posted this fabulous blog about being judged and judging others. She acknowledged feeling judged and how that made her feel. She also acknowledged that as she lost the weight she began to judge others. As she realized what she was doing, she stopped herself in her tracks and tried to remember 1) what it felt like to be judged and 2) that she had no idea what the path of each of these other people was--just as those who continued to judge her had no idea what her path was. I've frequently thought back to her blog to remind myself that I don't need to feel bad because people are judging me. They have no idea where I've been, where I'm going or the adversity I've overcome. Likewise, when I feel myself starting to judge others for their weight (I know! I know! Shame on me!!) I remind myself that I have no right to judge. I have no idea where THEY have been or the adversity THEY have or have yet to overcome. Who knows--that heavy lady in the restaurant may have already lost 75 pounds and is celebrating with family. We each have our own shoes to walk around in, and I don't want anyone else's blisters!!

(please don't hate me for being a "judger." I work on my empathy and compassion every single day.)

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LISAMG1220 1/4/2013 10:41AM

    Somedays, I am still 265 lbs (in my head). Especially if I have had a gain. When I feel like that, I have to go take a look in the mirror. I try not to be critical of other peoples appearance and pray they do the same for me. :)

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SARI_GIRL 1/4/2013 1:53AM

    I know what you're talking about. I have a friend who lost about 70 lbs in high school (when i was thin) Then, when I gained weight, he was very strange towards me. He told me he was worried every day about gaining it back, so I think newly thin people are just reminded of that fear when they see a heavy person.

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LYNETTEMOM 1/4/2013 1:52AM

    definitely food for thought

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MOMSFIVE1028 1/3/2013 1:52PM

    wow...something to keep in mind.

I'm like Nancy- and have always grumbled about those skinny people in the gym and such, how things were so easy for them and they didn't look winded and like the red faced fat chick I know I am. But I also know it'll take alot of work on my part to even get halfway to where they are now and I can't give up because i'm embarrassed about my looks now.

I'm looking forward to working on changing myself and my outlook.

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NANCY- 1/3/2013 9:44AM

    I had judgmental issues with my very thin Pilates instructor. The moves were much easier for her and I was envious to say the least. What fixed it for me was to mentally attach about 10 five pound bags of sugar to her svelte body and see how well she could move now.
While that may have been mean to her, it actually motivated me, because now I knew I was working much harder than her.

We all travel different paths and we should be kind to others and that includes being kind to ourselves.

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