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    NIKKICOLE83   19,728
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

****trust me - THIS is why you should lose the weight: what no one wants to talk about****

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Wednesday, January 02, 2013

I was having a discussion with my best friend last night. She and I have been friends since 5 yrs old. She was always the girl that everyone wanted to be, even me. The captain of our cheer team and the lust of every popular guy. Now that we are 29, and she has had 2 kids and life has happened, she has found herself at 220lbs on a 5'2" frame. She was telling me last night that she seriously wants to change. She NEEDS to change (from her mouth). Because we are besties I got extremely candid about the difference between my life after losing weight. You are about to enter TMI ZONE so if you are easily offended emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

1. When you are heavy, you are limited to ONE to TWO sexual positions and girl on top is NOT one of them! We both expressed how tiring and hard it is to be on top and yet, that is what our men AND us would probably prefer and it just can't happen when you are trying to balance dang near 300 lbs on a set of week quads. It is like being on the worst elliptical ever the way your heart starts racing and I just wasn't willing to die. So I spent a many a night on my back trying to make the most of it. And God forbid he try to put my legs up, OH NO! That just pushed my belly fat into my chest and made it hard to breathe. Losing just 20 lbs makes such a huge difference in this department.

2. Chivalry is suddenly resurrected. You ever hear the saying, "Chilvary is dead"? Well it gets a boost of life support once you get to "normal" weight. And this doesn't pertain to your significant other, it is mostly directed towards strangers. Before I lost weight, men would just allow the door to close in my face if I was walking into a store or business after them. It was almost like I was invisible. I would say hello as I passed and get nothing back in return. Nowadays, I have had strangers (even women) wait to hold my door open. Basically, we are at a safe enough distance apart that I would not expect for you to hold the door open for me. However, time and time again, people not only hold my door, but they give me a smile and ask me how I am doing. Definitely didn't experience that at 272 lbs.

3. You get regular customer service. I don't know if any of you ever experienced this but if I ever entered a clothing store that was not for plus-sized folks, the little teeny-tiny sales associate would run up to me immediately, as if I was lost, and asked if I needed help. The look of concern they gave was really saying, "Do you know where you are at? We don't have anything for you here." I have even had them come flat out and ask me if I was shopping for a gift. And the OUTSTANDING customer service they provided just drew attention to the big girl in the little girl store and made me uncomfortable. Now I can go into a regular store and get ignored like everyone else! emoticon

4. Regular menstrual cycles. While it sucks to have your life-line seeping from you each month, it is necessary. When I was at my heaviest, I would have a period every 3 months. While it sounds good, it was nerve wrecking! I was always having pregnancy scares and when my cycle did come, it was like someone hack-sawing into my diaphram. Not cool. Having a period every month means more manageable cramps and no babies.

5. Cleaner panties. emoticon Yeah I said it. No one wants to admit it but the heavier you get, the more discharge you have. It is like the little dark secret but I always felt damp. I never felt completely clean. I changed underwear before bed so I would be fresh. Now, I don't care. My vaginal health is so much better and my panties are a lot less worn.

6. Since we are talking bodily functions and all things inappropriate, we might as well talk about body odor. Breath. Sweat. All of those things are just a little more pronounced when you are heavy. And 99% of us go to great lengths to make sure we are always fresh, clean and smelling good. But no matter how much you bathe, you can't stop the fact that we sweat for no good reason. That sweat sits in parts of our flesh that are not getting air, like under the boobs, the inner thighs, and it creates mildew. I actually was told by my dermatologist that the brown flecks around my bra line was mold. MOLD WAS GROWING ON MY BODY. You can't make this stuff up. You can get yeast infections anywhere people and it happens when you are obese. It happened to me. The good news is that it cleared up once I dropped about 15 pounds.

6. Ladies, you can wear less makeup. Now for some of you , this isn't an issue anyway. But so many of us big girls tried to hide our fat behind MAC Cosmetics and everything else Sephora could sell. We did it to prove to those who weren't heavy that we are not slobs, and that we too care about our appearance. We sure know how to pack it on ladies! I think I may have been the biggest culprit I knew. Once I started watching what I put in my mouth and drinking more water, my skin began to clear up and actually glow. I no longer needed highlighter and full coverage foundation. As my face thinned out, I began to recognize my bone structure. I discovered I looked a lot better with less. The funny thing is that we probably all look better with less whether heavy or not and we just don't realize our natural beauty.

Now losing a ton of weight also comes with some shocking side effects. I assumed that once I lost weight, I would have the body of Gisele Budchken IMMEDIATELY. Not so much.
What I did get was

1. A cheering squad. No, not literally, but if I jump high enough or move my arms fast enough, you will hear all the lose skin clapping against each other and it sounds like a Live studio audience!

2. Ugly feet. When I was heavy and lazy, I had one corn on one toe. I now have blistersm bunions and calluses on every inch of my feet. Before I was sedentary. Now, I have put so many miles on these poor little feet that it looks like I have traveled this entire weight loss journey barefoot! Whether you run, Zumba, or strength train, you will come to realize the importance of high quality, well-fit shoes.

3. Haters. Oh yeah. You thought you had haters before, well you ain't seen nothing yet! People love to steal your shine and baby, now you are sparkling! You went from being the guy or gal that everyone could rely on for a funny joke, or perhaps you were always in the "Friend Zone". Now you pose a threat because you look damn good! So the fair-weather friends give you half-compliments with a smirk on their face. Or you stop being invited to just hangout. Your success is making the insecure uncomfortable. However, your true supporters become even more clear and while your freind base may shrink, it is stronger than ever.

I still have a ways to go on my journey - 32 lbs until maintenance. But when I started this roller coaster ride, I never would have fathomed the way losing weight affected so many other aspects of my life. If you are just beginning or maybe you are losing your spark, just now it is worth it to stick it out. So many other areas of your life will change and it will be worth all the dark moments that you have to traverse to get there.

Good Luck Sparkies!!!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MARTHAWILL 1/3/2013 7:43AM

    Great blog. Thanks for the courage for telling it like it is. Wish you much success in achieving your goals!
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LESLIE871948 1/3/2013 7:32AM

    Okay this is a great blog, and so true.

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GUITARWOMAN 1/3/2013 7:29AM

    Wow! Honest and absolutely true!

You told it like it is!

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MOONSTORMER 1/3/2013 7:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MILLEDGE2 1/3/2013 7:22AM

    This is the first time I read your blog, but it won't be the last! Thank you for your candor!

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MARYBETH4884 1/3/2013 7:22AM

    Thanks for letting the some of the indelicate truths be known!

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ROXYZMOM 1/3/2013 7:21AM

    Wow! That was brutally honest and must have felt good to hit "send" when completed!

Great job on coming so at - both inside and out!

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NILLAPEPSI 1/3/2013 7:14AM

    emoticon so much for your candidness & honesty. You said it girl!!! Right on!!

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SANDYCRANE 1/3/2013 7:08AM

    I love the part about people treating you differently when you lose weight. I read an article about some woman talking about the great customer service at some hardware store. Sure enough she was blond and beautiful. The hard work it takes to lose weight is worth all the benefits you gain. Good work.


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ENDERLI 1/3/2013 6:59AM

    Nik- Hysterical as always! You crack me up.
Thanks for sharing! You have the bestest Blogs eva!

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    Well done you! Sometimes we need to enter the TMI Zone! Thanks for telling it like it is.

PS: I can't be the only one who heard the "Twilight Zone" theme music as I was reading the words - You are about to enter TMI ZONE so if you are easily offended... :D

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BECKYANNE1 1/3/2013 6:56AM

    Great blog! Good Luck in reaching your goal! You can do it!

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ANNIEONLI 1/3/2013 6:55AM

    emoticon All true... all true....
emoticon for writing it down too!!!

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ONEKIDSMOM 1/3/2013 6:54AM

    Way to lay it all out there, Nikki! AND you got featured in the Spark Mail for it!

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OJ_2_OK 1/3/2013 6:35AM

    Wow! Great blog! Great journey and thank you for sharing!!!

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    It's funny how it only takes one brave soul to bring out the ability for many (thank you) to nod and click emoticon to things that MANY have felt, experienced, thought..... emoticon I know this will be a "Popular Blog Post" and should be a must read! emoticon for the honesty!

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HEART4HOME 1/3/2013 6:18AM

    Way to go for your friend wanting to make a change. You are an awesome lady to be there to support her. Congrats on your journey and this blog says it all. Thanks for sharing. I hope you don't mind a new spark friend. I would love to keep up with your progress.

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DRB13_1 1/3/2013 6:03AM

    emoticon on your progress and bless you for helping your friend live the Spark life too emoticon

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NCSUE0514 1/3/2013 5:59AM

That worked when I was 20. And 30. And 40. And 50.
Less so now that I'm 60.
Now I'm doing it more in order to be here at age 70.

Now THAT'S honest.

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FARIS71 1/3/2013 5:58AM

    Very candid and all true!

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WENDYSPARKS 1/3/2013 5:57AM

    Enjoyed reading your blog!

Wendy emoticon

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TRYINGHARD54 1/3/2013 5:50AM

    great blog........thank you

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SARASMILING 1/3/2013 5:17AM


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OPTIMIST1948 1/3/2013 5:13AM

    Never got to someof these stages but sure as hell recognise others. Well written, from the heart. Needs to be shared! Quick, everyone hit the like button!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/3/2013 5:02AM

    emoticon thanks for shareing

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SUNNYLIFE72 1/3/2013 4:59AM

  Honest and direct - thank you for writing from the heart.

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FLY0NTHEWAL1 1/3/2013 4:55AM

    What a great blog. I love the truth in all that TMi (psh, I don't believe in TMI, but that's just me emoticon ). Thanks for sharing, definitely a reminder that there is a real reason to never give up.

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GOPINTOS 1/3/2013 4:50AM

Fabulous blog!!!! Thanks for taking the time to share!!

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EVWINGS 1/3/2013 4:43AM

    Wonderful blog!! It may be TMI for some, but most need it!! Thank you for sharing your honesty with your BFF and with all of us.


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CAMAEL100 1/3/2013 4:37AM

    Fantastic blog! I need to re-read it any time I feel like giving up. Honest and truthful account of what it is like to be fat. The jolly fat life does not exist!

Well said!

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TINAJANE76 1/3/2013 4:32AM

    LOVE this blog! Thanks for sharing your experiences with honesty and humor!

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REGILIEH 1/3/2013 4:15AM

    This should be a MUST read for everyone, heavy or not. Great insight on how other people feel and of course the benefits from losing.

I do hope you got your friend to join us.

THANK YOU for writing this, you were so honest, so forthright, so telling it the way it is! Words are not enough to convey how GREAT this blog is.

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WORLDSERIES11 1/3/2013 4:11AM

    Loved this!!! The truth is what it is...thanks for being brave enough to share!! Your good humor about everything is also enjoyable and inspirational!!
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LIFETIMER54 1/3/2013 3:10AM

  Took a great deal of courage to open yourself up, YOU GO GIRL!!! emoticon

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MEDDYPEDDY 1/3/2013 1:19AM

    Yes, ptos and cons... and a great argument against those who says that kilos lost is only kilos lost, it sure does changes many things, mostly for the better...

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LISAN0415 1/3/2013 12:48AM

    Great blog, thanks for the courage and honesty!


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CORTNEY-LEE 1/3/2013 12:40AM

    two things I would like to add...

1. it is easier to shave your lady bits

2. it is easier to clean your bum

Great blog!!

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EUEK098 1/3/2013 12:21AM

    SO SO True, can definitely relate to this.

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NELLBELLA26 1/3/2013 12:12AM

    THANK GOD for this blog! TOTAL TRUTH. Thank you. Congrats on your success. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINDASWEIGHT612 1/2/2013 11:31PM

    loved it!! So much truth in the words! The cheering section scares me though I already have wings I don't want them to clap though! I am glad you have done so much though and I will be in the winning circle with you!!!

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PAPER_WINGS18 1/2/2013 10:22PM

    Fantastic blog! Thank you so much for the brutal honesty- I love it, because nobody talks about this stuff(usually). It is good to be prepared down the road! I'm ~40 down, but still have quite a bit to go. Congrats on all your success, and keep up the awesome blogs! :D


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TOGEMON 1/2/2013 10:04PM

    I can sympathize with the TOM not being on the M! I have PCOS, so mine is really screwed up. I had to get on the pill just so I'd get a period every month... now I get it like twice a month, ugh. I hope when I get down to maintenance weight, it will straighten itself out.

I also have acne problems because of the PCOS... and it didn't occur to me that drinking more water would help my skin! I'll have to try to get more in :)


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MRS.CARLY 1/2/2013 10:01PM

    Girl, YOU are funny............I laughed...why...well because I know what you are talking about.

aaaaaaaaawed that made me laugh!!

Great blog! Loved it! I like you! and your sense of humor, Please add me as a spark friend so I can read ALL your blogs.

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READY4CHANGE81 1/2/2013 9:29PM

    I love that you tell it like it is!!! emoticon Great blog!

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ALLISON145 1/2/2013 9:12PM

  I could totally relate to every word. You tell it, sister!! Woop Woop!

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STEPH-KNEE 1/2/2013 8:51PM

    This blog was amazing, I loved every word! emoticon emoticon

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HEATHERFREE 1/2/2013 8:18PM

    Oh my gosh! I LOVE inappropriate discussions!!!! hahahahaha! Its ALL true! Thanks for the comment on my blog btw! The customer service thing is SO true, and SO annoying! Great blog! Gave me a laugh and now I am assured I'm not the only one thinking about all of these things!

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BELIEVER104 1/2/2013 7:51PM

    Great blog! Loved reading your story. Hope you're having an awesome and strong week!

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REDVELVET21 1/2/2013 7:39PM

    Love it!

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SARAHST0T 1/2/2013 7:35PM

    Great blog, very eye-opening!

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