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****trust me - THIS is why you should lose the weight: what no one wants to talk about****

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Wednesday, January 02, 2013

I was having a discussion with my best friend last night. She and I have been friends since 5 yrs old. She was always the girl that everyone wanted to be, even me. The captain of our cheer team and the lust of every popular guy. Now that we are 29, and she has had 2 kids and life has happened, she has found herself at 220lbs on a 5'2" frame. She was telling me last night that she seriously wants to change. She NEEDS to change (from her mouth). Because we are besties I got extremely candid about the difference between my life after losing weight. You are about to enter TMI ZONE so if you are easily offended emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

1. When you are heavy, you are limited to ONE to TWO sexual positions and girl on top is NOT one of them! We both expressed how tiring and hard it is to be on top and yet, that is what our men AND us would probably prefer and it just can't happen when you are trying to balance dang near 300 lbs on a set of week quads. It is like being on the worst elliptical ever the way your heart starts racing and I just wasn't willing to die. So I spent a many a night on my back trying to make the most of it. And God forbid he try to put my legs up, OH NO! That just pushed my belly fat into my chest and made it hard to breathe. Losing just 20 lbs makes such a huge difference in this department.

2. Chivalry is suddenly resurrected. You ever hear the saying, "Chilvary is dead"? Well it gets a boost of life support once you get to "normal" weight. And this doesn't pertain to your significant other, it is mostly directed towards strangers. Before I lost weight, men would just allow the door to close in my face if I was walking into a store or business after them. It was almost like I was invisible. I would say hello as I passed and get nothing back in return. Nowadays, I have had strangers (even women) wait to hold my door open. Basically, we are at a safe enough distance apart that I would not expect for you to hold the door open for me. However, time and time again, people not only hold my door, but they give me a smile and ask me how I am doing. Definitely didn't experience that at 272 lbs.

3. You get regular customer service. I don't know if any of you ever experienced this but if I ever entered a clothing store that was not for plus-sized folks, the little teeny-tiny sales associate would run up to me immediately, as if I was lost, and asked if I needed help. The look of concern they gave was really saying, "Do you know where you are at? We don't have anything for you here." I have even had them come flat out and ask me if I was shopping for a gift. And the OUTSTANDING customer service they provided just drew attention to the big girl in the little girl store and made me uncomfortable. Now I can go into a regular store and get ignored like everyone else! emoticon

4. Regular menstrual cycles. While it sucks to have your life-line seeping from you each month, it is necessary. When I was at my heaviest, I would have a period every 3 months. While it sounds good, it was nerve wrecking! I was always having pregnancy scares and when my cycle did come, it was like someone hack-sawing into my diaphram. Not cool. Having a period every month means more manageable cramps and no babies.

5. Cleaner panties. emoticon Yeah I said it. No one wants to admit it but the heavier you get, the more discharge you have. It is like the little dark secret but I always felt damp. I never felt completely clean. I changed underwear before bed so I would be fresh. Now, I don't care. My vaginal health is so much better and my panties are a lot less worn.

6. Since we are talking bodily functions and all things inappropriate, we might as well talk about body odor. Breath. Sweat. All of those things are just a little more pronounced when you are heavy. And 99% of us go to great lengths to make sure we are always fresh, clean and smelling good. But no matter how much you bathe, you can't stop the fact that we sweat for no good reason. That sweat sits in parts of our flesh that are not getting air, like under the boobs, the inner thighs, and it creates mildew. I actually was told by my dermatologist that the brown flecks around my bra line was mold. MOLD WAS GROWING ON MY BODY. You can't make this stuff up. You can get yeast infections anywhere people and it happens when you are obese. It happened to me. The good news is that it cleared up once I dropped about 15 pounds.

6. Ladies, you can wear less makeup. Now for some of you , this isn't an issue anyway. But so many of us big girls tried to hide our fat behind MAC Cosmetics and everything else Sephora could sell. We did it to prove to those who weren't heavy that we are not slobs, and that we too care about our appearance. We sure know how to pack it on ladies! I think I may have been the biggest culprit I knew. Once I started watching what I put in my mouth and drinking more water, my skin began to clear up and actually glow. I no longer needed highlighter and full coverage foundation. As my face thinned out, I began to recognize my bone structure. I discovered I looked a lot better with less. The funny thing is that we probably all look better with less whether heavy or not and we just don't realize our natural beauty.

Now losing a ton of weight also comes with some shocking side effects. I assumed that once I lost weight, I would have the body of Gisele Budchken IMMEDIATELY. Not so much.
What I did get was

1. A cheering squad. No, not literally, but if I jump high enough or move my arms fast enough, you will hear all the lose skin clapping against each other and it sounds like a Live studio audience!

2. Ugly feet. When I was heavy and lazy, I had one corn on one toe. I now have blistersm bunions and calluses on every inch of my feet. Before I was sedentary. Now, I have put so many miles on these poor little feet that it looks like I have traveled this entire weight loss journey barefoot! Whether you run, Zumba, or strength train, you will come to realize the importance of high quality, well-fit shoes.

3. Haters. Oh yeah. You thought you had haters before, well you ain't seen nothing yet! People love to steal your shine and baby, now you are sparkling! You went from being the guy or gal that everyone could rely on for a funny joke, or perhaps you were always in the "Friend Zone". Now you pose a threat because you look damn good! So the fair-weather friends give you half-compliments with a smirk on their face. Or you stop being invited to just hangout. Your success is making the insecure uncomfortable. However, your true supporters become even more clear and while your freind base may shrink, it is stronger than ever.

I still have a ways to go on my journey - 32 lbs until maintenance. But when I started this roller coaster ride, I never would have fathomed the way losing weight affected so many other aspects of my life. If you are just beginning or maybe you are losing your spark, just now it is worth it to stick it out. So many other areas of your life will change and it will be worth all the dark moments that you have to traverse to get there.

Good Luck Sparkies!!!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JULIE700 1/4/2013 9:32AM

    Great blog!!!

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STEVIEBEE569 1/4/2013 9:30AM


OMG! This was too funny, especially about the cheering squad! I have my own cheering squad when I do jumping jacks. God, I cannot wait until this squad is silenced.

Girl, you have a way with your blogs! Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts!

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SVERMILLION100 1/4/2013 9:21AM

    I love this blog! It's so refreshing to hear the honesty that most of us don't want to admit!

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TURNINGTABLES21 1/4/2013 9:15AM


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PUNKADOO 1/4/2013 9:12AM

    Hilarious, inspiring and oh so true!

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CHARLEYSUE 1/4/2013 9:08AM

    Amazing blog! Thanks so much for sharing.

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FROMNDTOGA 1/4/2013 9:07AM

    Thanks for "telling it like it is". I think that's a woderful advantage of Spark People. We can express how we really feel without fear of disapproval. Congrats on your success so far.
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FIRECOM 1/4/2013 9:06AM

    This blog was absolutely incredible. Subjects like the ones in your blog are tough to talk about but you have accomplished it with aplomb and humor. Good on you.

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FITJANE6 1/4/2013 8:56AM

  Motivation!! Thanks for the honesty!

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SHERRIJ61 1/4/2013 8:52AM

    emoticon Great Blog! emoticon

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HPSANDDOLLAR 1/4/2013 8:51AM

  Good for you. Great thoughts.

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ANNCOLEY 1/4/2013 8:45AM

  What an inspiring blog...

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CJYOUCANDOIT 1/4/2013 8:45AM

    WoW! This was an excellent blog. Thank you for cutting to the real stuff overweight people must deal with. It was especially pertinent because you really were able to capture the feelings we feel as we experience our overweight lives. Congratulations on your weight loss. I hope to be as strong and successful as you by the end of this year.
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TFUNKSGIRL 1/4/2013 8:42AM

    Awesome blog, thank you so much. emoticon Keep up the good work!

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SPAQUEEN2012 1/4/2013 8:32AM

    Oh wow! I could have (but wouldn't have) written everything you said.

Big emoticon

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BEVERLYB1989 1/4/2013 8:14AM

  hahaha this was great! and so honest! I wish more people would be this open, never lose that!

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    so candid! thanks

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    Fantastic blog! I this this should be published as a weight loss 101 book--everyone needs to know this stuff!

The part about ugly feet made me laugh out loud--I was just saying that to someone. But I wear mine with pride knowing I have earned every blister, callous and bunion. emoticon



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    Honesty, how refreshing. Sometimes I have wondered if I was the only one with these problems. Thank you for sharing and congrats on you wonderful journey to a healthier, happier you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Remember, no matter what, you will always have SparkFriends.

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NANNABLACK 1/4/2013 7:46AM

    This was awesome. Thanks.

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QHAMOM 1/4/2013 7:26AM

    That was great!

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JEWELLE217 1/4/2013 7:23AM

    What a fantastically honest blog! I love it! emoticon Every bit of it right on target! I plan to print it out and refer to it often!

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BRASKIN 1/4/2013 7:02AM

  LOL..... this is so true!

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    Oh this post is great! I've been up and down 40lbs in weight over the years (now on my up phase) and have noticed the side effects you mentioned while losing and gaining! Thank you for the honest conversation! emoticon

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JURORI 1/4/2013 6:00AM

    What an honest post! Some of this stuff really struck home, and I winced as I read some of your points about being overweight. THANK YOU for posting this!

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THEIS58 1/4/2013 5:27AM

    Refreshing honesty- that's what this is!

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ROSE284 1/4/2013 4:57AM

    Great post! Thanks you for laying it all out so honestly.

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LOVEJOY55 1/4/2013 4:51AM

    It was almost too painful to read... I promise to come back to this page when I need some motivation! :) emoticon

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    Great blog

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    Heard that on the better sex positions. (Although, the cardio and ST sometimes injure my knee). That was one reason I started losing weight.

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SIMPLICITY235 1/4/2013 4:23AM

    That was a fantastic read! I loved it!

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BETTER_LUCK 1/4/2013 3:48AM

    LOL about the cheering squad: I noticed this the first time I lost a large amount of weight (60 pounds in high school) but I have to say, while it fills me with mortification when it happens nowadays (usually during sex!) it also causes a strange sense of pride. Also, another thing you get when you lose weight aside from loose skin is striae, which are those tiny white cracks in the skin. I have those on my inner arms, my thighs, my hips, and when people comment on them, I say they remind me of where I've been and where I am now.

A tiny and mundane thing that I get to do and love is hugging my knees, which is practically impossible when you're overweight.

Thanks for the blog, by the way, I read it just after finding out that the estimated 2lbs holiday gain was actually 10lbs (how can someone be THIS misguided, I ask!) and it gave me much needed motivation to turn this downward spiral around!

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FUZZYBEEZ 1/4/2013 3:34AM

    Absolutely great blog. It helped pick my spirits back up and let me imagine what the new me will be like. Thank you for being so candid.

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    Somehow I knew what the topic (#1) would be, just from the title of this post. Re: #3 "Regular Customer Service": Back when I was thinner I wandered into the Plus Sized section of a department store and a sales girl darted over to me and asked me if I was shopping for myself. Puzzled, I said "Yes". She then informed me that I was in the section for "larger ladies".... Now I'm looking forward to that happening again (getting kicked out of there). When I've lost enough weight I might just go wander around int hat section and see if it happens. I used to have "haters", too. At the time, I found that fact both odd and annoying. I never understood it. When I re-live that experience in the future I don't think I'll be so annoyed. I'll just find a way to work SparkPeople into the conversation.

: )

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PRAIREYLARK 1/4/2013 3:21AM

  Interesting article, I never thought about all the things that will get better when I lose weight. I do know I am bound to feel more physically free. Thanks!

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LANAHAUTH21 1/4/2013 2:31AM


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SUSANELAINE1956 1/4/2013 2:30AM

    I'm glad I found this blog. it was not only fun to read, but it was very honest and right on. good job.

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ALIHIKES 1/4/2013 2:23AM

    Great blog! thanks for writing it

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CHICCHANTAL 1/4/2013 2:19AM

    It's weird, I have experienced a lot of the things you write about too, but I've never seen them summarised anywhere. The bit about overweight=invisible, oh yes. But in one situation, it's reversed. If people want something dull doing or they're lost or whatever, it's you they ask. I've been noticing this forever - it's as though someone they perceive as lower than themselves in the pecking order is easier to approach, and being fat puts you right down the pecking order.

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BLUEJEAN99 1/4/2013 1:57AM


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LIBBYL1 1/4/2013 1:47AM

  loved this blog!

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TANYACJ 1/4/2013 1:41AM

    This blog was a pleasure to read. While I don't agree with the sex part yet, never had sex as a skinny person, I look forward to what I have in store for me as I progress along my journey. thanks for the honesty and the good expectations for the future.

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JESSERS22 1/4/2013 1:35AM

    Ah-mazing! emoticon

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    Being real and honest is refreshing and inspirational. GR8 post!

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ILIKETOZUMBA 1/4/2013 12:36AM

    FANTASTIC blog. Thank you for sharing all this and for being so honest! I agree, sex is MUCH easier and more comfortable nowadays, I don't sweat so much, and I never thought about it before but I think you're right - I experience less discharge than I used to. Losing weight really is great in so many ways! :) Congrats on all your successes!

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    What a great blog! I also lost a size in UNDERWEAR when I lost all of my weight! That's a funny side effect. I'm only 15 pounds from my goal weight and still have loose skin that probably will never go away but as long as my family loves me - that's all that matters. ROCK ON! :)

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KRISTAJOAN 1/3/2013 11:17PM


I am too too shy to talk openly about S-E-X, but it is true that I felt so insecure and uncomfortable in my big body that I couldn't really enjoy getting physical at all!

I've been divorced for about 3 years now, and as I get ready to date again (hell of a dry spell), I am still struggling with insecurities. I have to remind myself how hard I worked to get to where I am now, and how hard I am still working to lose the rest of it!


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SEATTLE58ANEW 1/3/2013 11:07PM

    Thanks for being so open about it and for writing down what we really need to hear. I never want to go back to what I was at 232# and 5"2". I had alot of those ishy things that you pointed out. It feels so good to be so free of that now. I still have around 20# more to lose before I feel like I'm where I want to be and with this plateau which seems to be a plague to me since Halloween, it get so frustrating! But I keep plugging along! Thanks and emoticon to you for all your success! emoticon I'm so proud of you! emoticon You're an inspiration!


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CYPATAYLOR2 1/3/2013 10:56PM

  Your blog is awesome! It is so right on. Thanks for being so truthful! emoticon

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