Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Here we are again. Another year and the same 100 plus pounds to lose. I know the last couple of years have been rough, but you were so close the last time! Look, I'm not trying to be harsh, but it seems like you seek out ways to sabotage the all positive in your life when negative sh@!t happens.
Things went bad when she left, but you had your health clearly on track. Why on earth did you dive back into the bottle and what took you so long to get out again? You were 40 pounds from your goal. Running 3 miles every other day. You had to buy a belt that was two sizes smaller! Why would you choose to focus on the bad when there was so much good going on?
Now you are tipping the scales at 170 pounds. The most you have ever weighed in your life. Your two Twinkies away from being diabetic, and you have trouble wiping your ass these days. Let's not even get into the fact that your legs swell constantly and getting our of bed in the morning is a real chore. You have the equivalent of a small adult that you carry around extra on your frame daily.
I see how unhappy you are. How embarrassing it is to shop for clothes or sit in a restaurant. You can feel the peoples eyes just gawking in judgement as you quietly try to eat. How uncomfortable it is to sit in a movie with seats made for stick figures. Your just glad it's dark so no one can see how uncomfortable you really are. Let's not even talk about booths in restaurants. Hell! It's hard for you just to get up from the goddamn couch!
With all that said my friend, I want you to know that this time will be different. I will be beside you every step of the way! I'm sorry that I haven't been around for a while but you haven't really allowed me into your life until now for some reason. But that doesn't matter. No hard feelings. You want me here to get you through this next round of "Lose that Weight!" and that's what I intend to do.
Unfortunately all I can do is be here to serve as a reminder of what life used to be like for you. You will have to do all the physical work. But mentally I am there to help pick up the slack and inspire you to stay the course. How am I gonna do that? It's simple.
When you begin to waver and doubt yourself, just think of me. When you are ready to drink that entire bottle of whiskey after a hard day, think of me. Remember back to when you and I had a closer relationship with each other. Back when we both had the same goals and ambitions. We were young and driven. We didn't drink or smoke and were far from the vices you have seem to adopt in your older age.
Remember me, your 18 year old self. With all the hope and optimism a kid could have. Physically you where at your peak. An athlete to say the least. Your libido was off the charts and you had a full head of hair. Six foot one, one hundred eighty five pounds of lean. That was the last time you felt inspired. The last time you felt unstoppable.
So remember me my Forty One year old friend. When things get rough just close your eyes and focus on that unstoppable feeling of those younger days. When the distance seems to great I will be there to help you remember why you are getting your life back on track. I will serve as a benchmark for you to live by. A cleaner life and a more positive outlook. A simpler time. While we can't do much about getting your hair back, we can certainly work on everything else.
Just remember those days and we will get you back to your young self again.
The 18 year old you