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    ASHAIXIM   23,606
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A&I Wk1 2012 review and moving forward in 2013.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

2012 was a very difficult year. Between coming out of a year+ long depression, having a lot of pain (which I now know to have been a pinched neck nerve), having surgery, having my sister diagnosed and treated for breast cancer, and the stress and ramifications from everything piling up on me I am in a state of nerves, exhaustion and overwhelming chaos.

Over the next 5 months, before I turn 47, there are some things I really want to accomplish. I'm giving myself a 5 month timeline partly because two of them are much more limited in the time I have realistically to do them - one is a doctor appointment this month and another needs to be done, or at least a good chuck of, before Mid-February. If I can have all of them 100% accomplished before the end of 2013 then that will be good.

The first priority is to go to a doctor appointment on the 16th. It is with a specialist who tests for not only allergies but sensitivities and such. Iím hoping he can help to explain my constant fatigue and general malaise and treat me properly so I will feel better.

Second is eating right, drinking right (lots of water, not as much soda (which I donít drink a ton of anyway) and caffeine), and sleeping right. The sleep part is difficult. I have sleep issues (medically) that are not treatable (I donít get sufficient uninterrupted delta sleep) and intermittent insomnia issues. For instance last night I didnít end up falling asleep until almost 2am and then the whole time I laid there (or it seems like) I was in that half awake state where I knew I wasnít sleeping.

Third is getting my office cleaned up at work. It is out of control and, unlike my two bosses who live in chaos and have boxes they havenít unpacked since our move 4 years ago! I have to have ready access to the files so if they need them I can put my hands on them right away. We also have auditors (we self audit yearly) coming in February and have to be ready for them.

Fourth is getting a handle on my house. Itís out of control as well. I was very depressed for a while and basically just never did anything so Iím dealing with a combination of not feeling well, trying to recoup from being so depressed for a year and then out of commission from my neck for a year, and feeling completely overwhelmed, unable to accept (or ask for) help (except from two people who said theyíd be happy to help but wonít actually come and do it and are the only two I would let IN TO my house right now Ė mainly because Iíve seen THEIR messes and know they wouldnít freak out). I know the Fly Lady 15 minute rule and am (really am) trying to do it, but it is hard to get any ambition even for that.

I am going to have to set a schedule and STICK TO IT. I have a million excuses why not, but none that are worth living this way.

If I can focus on these things, my weight will be a non-issue. Right now itís difficult to cook, clean, have fresh veg, etc. because Iím I such disarray and am such a high stress level so these will be, I believe, key elements into not only losing weight but, big picture, being healthy and reducing stress tremendously.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHYGETSFIT 1/5/2013 7:43PM

    I know last year was a difficult year for you in several ways. I understand the fatigue! You might have more than just fatigue though than from your thyroid. You should have a complete metabolic blood test to make sure there aren't other issues going on. If there isn't anything else wrong I did find these capsules for thyroid support that definitely help me feel better. Here is a link to them on amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0
013OZCGE/ref=oh_details_o02_s00
_i01.

I know how hard it is to get things done when you are in physical pain, fatigued and under a ton of emotional stress. I think you are right about decluttering your office and home. I think that once you get them cleaned up you'll feel better and want to do things like focus on exercising and eating right. Ugh! Soda is so bad for you in so many ways. I'm so glad I kicked that habit to the curb a long time ago.

I don't know what they Fly Lady's 15 minute rule is but what I do is set a time for 25 minutes. Work on one task for the whole 25 minutes. As soon as the time is up get up and walk around for 5 minutes. Then move on to another task when your 5 minute break is up and set the timer for another 25 minutes. After every 4th (25 minute) timer is done take a 30 minute break.

Whatever you do just be sure to be kind to yourself and not berate yourself for things you didn't do or whatever. Just take it one moment and one day at a time. Remember too that we are all here for you!!

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BLUEFISH1881 1/4/2013 12:11AM

    You goals are awesome. emoticon

I also have difficulties with depression and my house sometimes is out of control.



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AMYBELLES 1/3/2013 8:59PM

    You have gone through a lot this past year physically, mentally and emotionally. It is so hard to get motivated to get things accomplished when you are in physical pain and are depressed. I hope that you get the support you need in all areas of your life from your doctors and all the friends who care about you. You are never alone here on SparkPeople. I wish you all the best, and know that you can pull yourself up gradually, taking one baby step at a time. Always remember to be patient with yourself and kind to yourself. You deserve happiness and success! emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 1/3/2013 7:22PM

    so sorry youve been through so much do a little every day small walk eat a fruit clean teh kitchen, tue small walk eat a vegetable clean the bathroom you get the picture when the sun comes out soit out if you can it will make a world of difference. hugs

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LOSINGLINNDY 1/3/2013 6:10PM

    Sorry for all you have been through, But emoticon work through your goals a bit at a time. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/3/2013 6:11:18 PM

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SIGNAL38 1/3/2013 10:58AM

    I can relate to you about depression. I know how hard it is to find the motivation to do anything and get out of that dark hole, but you CAN do it! I know you are overwhelmed right now, but remember you don't have to do everything all at once. One day at a time. Somebody earlier commented that exercise helps with depression and I find that to be true too. For me, the hardest part is getting started. You have set some good goals for yourself and I know you will accomplish them.

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Comment edited on: 1/3/2013 10:58:34 AM

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JUSTLLAMA 1/3/2013 3:46AM

    Best of luck to you. It sounds like you have some GREAT goals and are on the right path to making them happen. Wishing you a very successful New Year!

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RFJSJ50 1/3/2013 12:49AM

    You can do this, but remember not to worry about doing it all at once. It's hard climbing out of that dark world of depression (and staying out) - I truly know what you are going through. You've started the upward spiral and every day will get a little brighter and better - it takes time.
One thing that I've been doing to help get my house in order is to set a time limit and work during that time. Right now, my limit (that I FORCE myself to do daily) is 30 minutes. I walk around my apartment during that time, picking things up and putting them in their correct place, washing dishes, sweeping, etc. Things had really gone downhill the past few months (health and personal issues) but I'm really seeing a difference now. Most of what I "declutter" daily is from that day or the day before, most of the old "messiness" has been taken care of.
This sounds crazy, but I've started walking as I do dishes. (This works for me in weather that I can't walk outside, like now.) I wash one item, rinse and set it in the drainer, and then walk from the kitchen, down the hall, into one bedroom, back in the hall and into the second bedroom, back in the hall to the living room, to the front door, and back to the kitchen sink. Then, I wash an item and walk the circuit again. In my mind, I'm accomplishing two tasks at once - my dishes and some walking. My apartment is not large, but these steps do add up and every step and moment active adds up. I've also found that this doesn't cause me to overdo with my bad knee. I also do the same type of thing when I'm doing laundry.
Think about ways you can work like that - believe it or not, I truly think adding more "activity" has helped bring me out of my depression.
Sheila

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GINGERPAWZ 1/2/2013 11:49PM

    emoticon I have confidence in you. I also have a pinched nerve in my shoulder and it hurts in the winter time. emoticon and you will achieve your goals.

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Sharon

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SILVERANGEL6 1/2/2013 11:00PM

    Great advice from your friends, especially Keltic-Cara....I hve a tendency to collect paper, books, magazines, junk mail etc etc....just piles up...I make a point once a week to pick up a pile & sort through it, could take 30 minutes, could take 5, but then I keep some for my Hairdresser's pre-school, for the children to cut out pics, the rest, well I keep important stuff, & chuck the rest. That's 3 pile sonly. Sometimes, i get inspired & do 2 piles....
I will send you a Spark Mail

Love

Sylvia XOXO

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BARBIE176 1/2/2013 8:20PM

    I have confidence in you that you will be able to achieve your goals. If you have overcome your depression then your goals should be easier to achieve. Remember, though, don't be too hard on yourself and take it a step at a time. emoticon emoticon

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DBELLE39 1/2/2013 5:46PM

    Baby steps to get to goal success. No doubt you can achieve success with each goal.

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RISINGBLUESTAR 1/2/2013 5:18PM

    I am sorry that you were/are dealing with depression. it's a tough struggle. I think it's good that you have set some goals. You can always get there one small step at a time. The pinched nerve sounds very painful. That's terrible that you had to go through that. I had a doctor press on my neck before because I complained about a headache & then I was in so much pain for a long time so I can't imagine how painful a pinched nerve must have been. I hope you are beginning to feel better. For your fatigue, look into Hypothyroidism. It can cause exhaustion like you wouldn't believe, depression, dry skin and so many other issues. You have to get it tested more than once for accurate results. Hopefully, the specialist you are going to will find a cause if your GP can't.

Best of luck!



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MORTICIAADDAMS 1/2/2013 4:12PM

    I like your goals and can totally relate to them as I have some of the same ones. I hope you have a much better year this year.

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SURENDERISNOTME 1/2/2013 2:44PM

    emoticon Just be patient with yourself. I have confidence in you. Remember one day at a time.

HUGS
Debbie

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KELTIC-CARA 1/2/2013 1:18PM

    Some days it can be hard to find the motivation to get started because we look at our task and think - where to begin. I find the best way is to pick up the first thing at hand; make a decision to keep it or not; if keeping it find a place for it; if not out it goes NOW, decision was made. Pick up the next thing at hand etc. emoticon emoticon

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RISINGSUN2013 1/2/2013 1:12PM

    I really relate to your post. I suffer from depression and fatigue too. I hope our new lifestyle changes will get us through! emoticon

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CRAFTINWIFE 1/2/2013 1:01PM

    emoticon One day at a time!

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