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Another Challenge

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Last night I had to invite some of our most difficult family members for dinner and I nearly fell off the trail.
They came to our house at the seaside I was expecting they'd somehow appreciate the place and meal. It did not happen, they did not say a word about the very good food and the beautiful house on the sea, nor did they thank us for the invitation!!
Unfortunately , the heating was not working properly but we decided to lit up a nice fire in the fireplace.
As soon as they arrived, they started complaining about the cold. It was around 12 degrees in the house which I know is not ideal but acceptable and went up to 17 with the fireplace on.
They kept their coats on for the whole supper whicle we added tons of logs on the fireplace. I was utterly shocked as I had planned everything, from food to house decoration and was terribly disappointed at their reaction, not only did they appreciate or like anything, which is customary in my country when you're invited, they still continued to say it was too cold for them throughout the whole meal.
I was going to say 'Why don't you call a taxi and get home straight away' but luckily bit my tongue. I'm not generally so unpolite, but I was really feeling miserable. In older times I would have eaten three times as much but succeeded in choosing the right portions and quantities.
In the end they also complained about something else - two or three of our neighbours' children lit some bonfires - which is acceptable at the start of a new year and this time they complained for the noise!!!!
At the end of the meal I told them 'It must be because of my fat layers I cannot feel any cold'
but they did not understand and ignored my self-irony (they look as thin as ex-Dachau prisoners ) .
I felt really angry and tried to cool down, Only later did I receive a huge help from one of my dearest SP friend. Reading one of his blogs I looked at the situation from another angle and understood why nobody ever invites this couple. I though about how these two people must feel rejected by all, as they do not realize it's probably because of their constant complaining.
I have come to realize that unthankfulness is a deadly sin.
The meal cost a lot, in terms of time, food and patience, but taught me a lot.
Thanks again to you dear friends for your help and inspirations!!! emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have to always remind myself not to take people personally. How they are or react has may have nothing at all to do with me or what is happening at the moment. You have to realize that they can not change. We can not make them to be happy or force them to be in the moment with us. That way you are no longer part of their drama but are now just watching them. Giving them a nice dinner was a wonderful thing to do. Thank you for caring and trying to help them. emoticon
    1878 days ago
    Wow, what a miserable couple of relatives! Good thing they found each other, so they can be miserable together, right? (Can you imagine being married to someone like that?? Ugh!)

    And yay for you for taking care of yourself instead of eating to stuff down your words!
    1878 days ago
    Glad an SPF was able to help. It's why this site works so very well!!!

    Much Love


    BTW: If you ever invite me to dinner I promise I will be the modicum of dignity and civility
    1879 days ago
    Indeed we can emoticon Your guests were very ungrateful
    as I'm sure that you went to a lot of trouble and expense
    to do the best for these people. FAmily at that. Never mind,
    I'm glad you made the good choice and didn't go overboard
    by sticking to portion control. Hey, if they complain about every
    little thing, then learn from this and just don't invite them again.
    You stayed true to yourself and that is marvellous. Good on you!
    1879 days ago
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