Tuesday, January 01, 2013
In 2012, I lost a few friends but gained a couple even more valued ones. Our family went through a lot and I shed more tears than I would have liked. I let my pain rule my actions or lack of. In 2013, I am emerging. I resolve to better myself in all ways possible. I will be more in tune to my needs. I will not let my pain hold me back. I will remember my blessings. I will be a better friend to others and myself. I will be more positive and leave the negative behind. I will love with all I am.
This year I decided that I was not going to make a New Year's resolution that involved weight or exercise. It seems I fail every year at that and then end up feeling, well...like a failure. I know I need to lose weight and I need to do it for me. I know I need to exercise for my health. I don't want to do it just because of a "promise" I want to do it from my heart.
There are quite a few things I'd like to do different in 2013. One of those things is to stop hiding from the camera. I realized that there are so very few pictures of me with my family or of my kids and I, or my husband and I. I want change that. I don't want something to happen one day and it be a regret. I SO regret not getting pictures with my brother, John, and now it's too late.
I HAVE to lose weight. I am really struggling with so many normal things because of my weight. Tying my shoes, heck even just putting on my shoes! Getting dressed is difficult with this weight. I have to sit down and practically do acrobatics to get my pants over my feet, same with socks and shoes. "Time" with Hubby is less enjoyable because I'm just not comfortable and I'm so insecure. I don't like him touching my stomach, he just likes to touch me and I'm all worried about flab. He doesn't care, but I do. I could go and on, but if you're reading this - you probably get it. I plan on documenting my weight loss with pictures this time, which is a first for me. My very first pic is below. I'm at 276 right now. My highest weight is 282, so I'm sure you can understand just how worried I am about this number. And how disappointed that I'm back here again. This can NOT go on!
I hope that by the end of the year, I can reduce those bags under my eyes, get rid of those extra chins and have healthier skin.
Until next post - Adios!