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Yup, it's time of year again!

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

In 2012, I lost a few friends but gained a couple even more valued ones. Our family went through a lot and I shed more tears than I would have liked. I let my pain rule my actions or lack of. In 2013, I am emerging. I resolve to better myself in all ways possible. I will be more in tune to my needs. I will not let my pain hold me back. I will remember my blessings. I will be a better friend to others and myself. I will be more positive and leave the negative behind. I will love with all I am.

This year I decided that I was not going to make a New Year's resolution that involved weight or exercise. It seems I fail every year at that and then end up feeling, well...like a failure. I know I need to lose weight and I need to do it for me. I know I need to exercise for my health. I don't want to do it just because of a "promise" I want to do it from my heart.

There are quite a few things I'd like to do different in 2013. One of those things is to stop hiding from the camera. I realized that there are so very few pictures of me with my family or of my kids and I, or my husband and I. I want change that. I don't want something to happen one day and it be a regret. I SO regret not getting pictures with my brother, John, and now it's too late.

I HAVE to lose weight. I am really struggling with so many normal things because of my weight. Tying my shoes, heck even just putting on my shoes! Getting dressed is difficult with this weight. I have to sit down and practically do acrobatics to get my pants over my feet, same with socks and shoes. "Time" with Hubby is less enjoyable because I'm just not comfortable and I'm so insecure. I don't like him touching my stomach, he just likes to touch me and I'm all worried about flab. He doesn't care, but I do. I could go and on, but if you're reading this - you probably get it. I plan on documenting my weight loss with pictures this time, which is a first for me. My very first pic is below. I'm at 276 right now. My highest weight is 282, so I'm sure you can understand just how worried I am about this number. And how disappointed that I'm back here again. This can NOT go on!

I hope that by the end of the year, I can reduce those bags under my eyes, get rid of those extra chins and have healthier skin.

Until next post - Adios!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My weight makes my life less enjoyable in all the ways you describe. I am not making any resolutions. I began my new life in July and I'm going to keep on drinking a ton of water. I'm going to keep on watching what I eat and tracking it and making good choices and trying to eat more veggies. I'm going to keep on getting in fitness minutes in a variety of ways. These things will help me fix my fat, and I am not beating myself up about slipping on these objectives, just pick them up the next time. I have only lost about 15 pounds, but I already feel better. I hope to lose 10-15 more by spring. I hope to get into onederland by May 15, but the only way I will ever do these things is to keep doing the behaviors that will make a difference and avoid the behaviors that will make it worse.
    1749 days ago
    I agree.... pictures are so very important and it took losing my FIL to really realize how important they really are. I think you have some great goals to get you through the year!


    You have a very pretty smile!
    1749 days ago
    To steal a line, "welcome back my friend to the show that never ends".

    Good luck in staying on your chosen path in 2013!
    1750 days ago
    You can do it! Focus on little things at a time, it will help get you going. Go back to the basics, it will make the journey slightly easier.

    1750 days ago
    Welcome Back!!
    I'm sorry for the hardships of last year. I really like your attitude about the year ahead and know you can do it!! You have people here ready to support you whenever you need.
    emoticon emoticon
    1750 days ago
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