Tuesday, January 01, 2013
I'm pretty sure it's time to let go of my goal weight. At 145 pounds, I'm 10 pounds lighter than I was when I first lost weight in 2009. I'm smaller than I was in high school. I can fit into clothes I wore in 7th grade. I can fit into shorts I wore in the 5th grade! I really love my body. However, I keep thinking I need to get to 140. I'd settle for 142 because that would mean an even loss of 30 pounds. (I feel a little Adrian Monk-like in my fixation on that.) Truthfully, I want to get to 130. I keep telling myself that it's just to prove I can and to make myself a faster runner. However, I think it may be more than that... I don't think anything less would be noticeable to others. I can already see and feel bones I never did before, and I'm none too crazy about that. I know that will only get worse if I lose more weight.
Still, I'm bummed that my weight loss over the last 3 months has amounted to 2 pounds. That's with joining the Y and averaging about 2 hours a day. Admittedly, I've been eating way too much (mostly in the form of sweets...) They say the last 5-10 pounds are the hardest, so that makes me ask myself,
"If I stop striving for 140 am I letting go of an arbitrary, unhealthy goal or am I giving up because it seems too hard?"