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    RAINEMARIE214   36,651
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2013 Goals

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Last year I never made any goals, so I am making sure that I post these today, and dont forget about them!



You can read more about them over at Fitness and Cupcakes!

fitnessandcupcakes.blogs
pot.com/2013/01/2013-goals
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In other news that I dont feel comfortable publicly blogging about, I am worried about J and I. I feel like lately we havent spent much time together and I am worried that we are growing apart. November and December were difficult months because he was really busy in November preparing for our base inspection, and then as soon as the inspection ended he came down with essentially walking pneumonia. By Christmas he was finally starting to feel better. We had a really nice Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner, and then we went back to work, but I only had to work 1 day, which meant the rest of the time I was really bored and lonely. I tried to keep myself busy, and I knew he had to work, but I felt like even when the weekend came that he just didnt seem like he wanted to spend time with me. And this could totally be in my head because I am still feeling pretty sad about life in general - 2012 was rough. I kind of made a point of telling him on Sunday that I felt like he didnt want to spend time with me anymore, and that I felt like I was a horrible girlfriend because we always do what I want to do and he feels like we cant do what he wants to do because I end up hurt or crying - I should also mention that by the time I started saying all of this, I was crying. And J doesnt particularly like to talk about feelings or emotions, so he just sits there and looks frustrated/annoyed. We ended up just watching tv shows and I know he felt like he had to entertain me. I dont need him to entertain me. I just dont want to be alone and I constantly feel lonely. I dont have friends here that I can hang out with. It is extremely frustrating. I wish I had girl friends to go shopping with, or workout with, or just hang out and watch tv or movies with. But I dont. If I am not with him or at work, then I am essentially alone. I dont even have my dog right now (luckily I get her back on Thursday when we visit my parents). I joined a book club, but those ladies only meet once per month, and I have only gone once so far. I am just really worried about us. I know I am not the easiest person to deal with.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NATPLUMMER 1/2/2013 12:19PM

    emoticon

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FUNFROG79 1/2/2013 10:57AM

    I can say I agree with all of the above. I remember when I moved to NC not knowing anyone besides my husband, it was SUPER rough. I got depressed, ate and worked out to help not gaining weight, but I did anyway bc I binged so bad. I didn't even have a job then bc we only had one car. Our first year of marriage was super tough bc of that. I had to learn Independence and also enjoy time with my husband and I did just that. I made changes. I found a job that I could walk to, we got a puppy, we starting doing things we never did before like hiking, going to games etc. I ended up meeting people thru work and online. I met one of my closest friends now on myspace bc we are huge hockey fans and she was selling tickets. My independence brought us closer. It was making changes and getting out more that made me happier and independent. I would also suggest bc you are sad and crying that you find a professional to talk to, it really does help. I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders every visit I went to. It truly helped with my anxiety. Hang in there, we are all here for you!

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CARADAWN 1/2/2013 9:22AM

    It's hard to look at the bright side when you just don't feel like it - been there many times. But, there is a bright side and sometimes, after you can't take being sad anymore, you have to look for the good. I think your goal of identifying one positive thing each day is a good start and will help you to start thinking positive instead of negative.

I know the friends thing is tough. We have talked about it before a I too still struggle with it a little. I know you don't want to depend on J for your only entertainment outside of work so it's good that you joined a book club. But, since they only meet once a month maybe you should join another group or two. I know you love to bake and cook so how about taking a cooking or baking class. What about a crafting class? Although these are only classes you may be able to meet people with similiar interested and since you are in a class setting it should be easy to talk to people.

I am a shy person by nature but I have had to make myself and extrovert to make new friends. I hate talking to random people and always worry about saying the wrong thing or coming off stupid - but then I realized most people have this same fear! I hope you are able to find a few other ways to meet people in your town because I know it will make a great difference in the way you feel about everything, including your relationship with J.

I hope 2013 is a great year for you emoticon

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LAURIE5658 1/2/2013 9:14AM

    Oh my sweet buddy how I wish I lived closer..alot closer LOL...to you. Oh the trouble we could get into and just ask Emily. I am with Cowgirl in that you need to start looking at things in a positive way just like what you listed in your goals. It could very well be that you are looking at things in a distorted manner. Maybe not. Keep the lines of communication open with Jasin as this may be as simple as talking about it.

I'm thinking of you!!

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COWGRRRL 1/2/2013 6:05AM

    Honey, it sounds a lot to me like your frustrations with yourself are spilling over into your relationship. That doesn't mean you're being difficult or anything like that! It just means that you might be interpreting things differently because you're looking at things differently.
I think you need to put on your positive cap (hard as it can be when you're really not feeling great!) and look at the things that ARE good at the moment. You might be suprised by how much is in your life that is actually going well! I know I often am when I'm not feeling so great.
It sounds like you're in a real rut when it comes down to it, and generally when you're not happy with yourself nothing will feel like it's going right. It's a new year, a new beginning and you don't have to slide down a slope if you start climbing upwards instead :)
*big hugs* I hope you feel better soon!

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