The past couple of weeks have been a big blur. While I've been logging in to occasionally post comments on threads, I haven't had anything 'significant' to say on my blog. I've been on vacation and all my chicks are home from college. I've been enjoying the present every day. While my routine has been out the window as far as meal content and logging go, my girls are college softball athletes, so have been getting me off my duff and pushing my activity limits every day
Foodwise, I've learned some lessons. When eating with the family, I made good choices, but had a couple of times when I ate too much and too fast leading to stomach aches until it came back up.
I was able to ignore the pies and cookies on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
but was so wiped out and tired after cooking CE dinner for 15 and traveling to my brother's for CD dinner, that my old bad habits took over and I picked at the sweets until I made myself sick. And not just one day. I did it for about 3 days in a row and really felt like CRAP!!!
Had insomnia, nightmares and everything. Finally had a 3 a.m. ephiphany -
THROW THE S$%T AWAY!!!!
It was SO HARD for me to do that!!! I kept reminding myself what I read somewhere: "IT'S OK TO THROW AWAY FOOD!" This is totally opposite to how I was raised! But my family didn't even care that I threw the junk away.
So for the past 4-5 days I've been focusing on drinking lots of water and eating my proven protein foods (cheese sticks, beans, eggs, ff cottage cheese, greek yogurt) and drinking a protein shake every day. I feel MUCH better!!!
I stumbled at the movie theater the other nite tho.
Ate my cheese stick and had my water bottle, but then my hand sneaked into the popcorn tub.....
One piece went down ok, which led to a few more, which led to a handfull, which led to another handfull....YIKES!!!
Woke up at 2 am with a huge stomache and tummy said 'Gotta get rid of this stuff!!' and proceeded to do just that!
I need to remember that my mouth LOVES carbs and has no self control when it gets started eating them. Then tummy fights back and I've got a miserable war on my hands where I'm the LOSER! And NOT in a good way!
One thing that helps me remember is wearing my new size 14W jeans which are snug, but not too tight, my new bras that actually fit and make me look good instead of frumpy and my new XL plaid shirt that is baggy (DD says it will shrink). It always seemed to cliche to me when people said 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels!' Hmmmmm. Maybe cliche in this case isn't soooo bad.....
Emotionally, I'm feeling really good. Almost 'scary-good'. Like I'm waiting for the shoe to drop.
All my life I've always been a bit depressed around New Year's cuz I felt like another year slipped by and I didn't accomplish what I 'should have' accomplished.
For me 2012 has been a HUGE year of change. Most change was for the good (notably my WLS, saying 'see ya!' to 65 lbs, my high blood pressure and high cholesterol meds, avoiding going on diabetes meds, getting my self-esteem back bit by bit, reviving the friendship and romance with my DH in my marriage, my 88 yr old dad moving to asst'd living- thriving and having a ball there, dd's academic and athletic successes, my boss is so nice and kind. I love my work team and my job seems stable with 2013 looking like a year of lots of exciting work projects).
Some change I'm still sad about (my favorite dear aunt's passing in Nov, my mom who passed in 1996 not physically seeing the good changes in my life) BIG SIGH HERE....
I soooo APPRECIATE all my SP friends!!! Being able to share my victories with people who 'get me' and reading your posts when I'm in my valleys have really helped me!!! It's so great to have people who know what I'm going thru that I can support and have support me!!!