Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Isn't January 1, just another day? Another new start? Just like we have every moment of every other day on the calendar? What's the significance of it all....
I think it is just like any other "marker" on the calendar. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. It is simply a point of reference. A time to look back to the same marker a year before. And to reflect on the events that took place between the two.
So I thought I would post a lovely blog with all my 2012 deep thoughts. So many good things happened. SO MUCH to be thankful for. But, instead, I am reflecting on the events of last night, and the reminders of how life can change so suddenly, so unexpectedly.
We had planned a party. But with the flu bug hitting us hard before Christmas, with travel, and sheer exhaustion, we cancelled and opted for a quiet dinner with some old friends at a lovely restaurant in Old Sacramento. We had a lovely meal, spent over 2 hours laughing, enjoying each other and then left to see the fireworks. They had a 9:00 show for the families, and had big plans for the second show at midnight for the "revelers". We did not want to deal with drunks, so thought we'd celebrate with New York and then head home.
After the fireworks, there were people dragging wagons filled with kids, strollers, etc, along with the older or quieter crowd who'd begun heading out. Simultaneously the party animals were heading in. The multi-story parking garage was filled and congested with people leaving, so we thought we'd stroll around waiting for it to dissipate. Basking in the celebration, we were suddenly almost trampled by people running with panic in their eyes, shouting about the shooting the guns the blood and getting out of there. There were cops swarming in from every direction, horseback, running on foot, and racing down the street in their cars. Then came the ambulances, the fire engines and so on.... I never dreamed I would spend NY Eve hiding behind a tree. We were a block away. The shots were fired in the street in front of the restaurant we had just left.
The entire area was on immediate lock down with helicopters, sirens, loud speakers, clearing the streets. We, along with an estimated 30-40,000 others got out as quickly (which was not too...) as we could. We knew at least one person had been killed (actually it was two) and four others were shot. The festive atmosphere had turned quite somber. I kept thinking of the poor children who had to witness yet another horrific act of violence, and the family members that would be getting "the call". How suddenly their lives changed....
When we finally got home I was exceedingly thankful to be safe. And in a warm home. I kept thinking of how for centuries, so much of the world has experienced bloodshed on their streets. And how there have not always been safe places to retreat to. And how there have often been more than 1, 5 or 26 victims. And frightening it is to now become so familiar with this kind of random violence in our smallest, quietest communities. What feels the worst to me, is that we are under attack from the inside....and I wonder where we can go from here?
I have goals for 2013. But they have shifted from the "SOS" (same of stuff...losing weight, getting organized, exercising more, etc....) to internal goals. To be more forgiving, loving, appreciative, grateful. To be more aware. To start the "where can we go" changes in my own life. Let go of anger, resentment, any negative feeling or behavior, so that people around me will be inspired. And motivated to change their own thinking and attitudes. I pray that we can all, one by one, be the difference, MAKE the change in this crazy, chaotic word.
I am grateful to be alive today. Grateful to be able to post. Grateful that I have another new start, a new marker. I am thankful in advance for all that will take place this upcoming year. I already know some of it will be very difficult. A lot of it will be wonderful. But my life goes on....