Tuesday, January 01, 2013
So I decide that there are so many things I need to change, pretty much how I live my life, period. I have been working on making myself a schedule for the day because one of the things i use as an excuse, i'm sure many of you do, is that I don't have time for things. Well, after looking at what I've done with my time each day for a while, it becomes clear that this is definitely not true. I actually used the schedule yesterday and found that it worked quite well. One small step for me, hopefully one giant step toward success.
Usually when I wake up, I have to take the dogs out first, then I have my coffee in front of the TV. I'm not a morning person, need to ease into my day. I generally watch something entertaining. However, while flipping through the channels, I came across the show My 600lb Life. Now, of course, my first inclination was to zip right past this one. Then a thought popped into my head. I don't want to watch because it makes me uncomfortable, because I could never be that person so it's of no use to me, the surgery parts are probably gonna be gross, a whole host of things went through my mind. And then it occurred to me that this could be another step towards change. I never thought I'd be the 260lb person I am today. Who's to say that I couldn't be one of these people? I'm sure they never believed they would be this heavy. But if they can face what has to seem like such an insurmountable hurdle to living the lives that they want to have, to looking and feeling and being the person they want to be, and have it all taped and watched by millions of strangers to boot, why am I sitting around crying for myself? The hundred plus pounds I need to lose is daunting, but watching what these folks are going through has had the opposite effect on me that I thought it would. Yes, it makes me uncomfortable in some ways, but if I don't learn to examine those thoughts and feelings, acknowledge and deal with them, it's going to be very hard for me to become the person I want to be.