Monday, December 31, 2012
I know it is cliche' but I suppose now is as good a time as any to start practicing what I 'preach'. I SAY that JUNK food is bad for me and I know that it is. I know it is full of fats and sugars and salts. YET.... if I were handed a plate of donuts and a plate of mixed vegetables... guess which one I would dive into??
Knowledge doesn't mean much in loo of the temptations of my own fleshly desires. My flesh is weak and lusts after what gives me a mere moment of pleasure. Though, like all sin, it is over in an instant and all I am left with is guilt and shame. The fats and sugars I just consumed with such delight just a second ago become poison the minute it hits my stomach. I mean if I eat enough of it over a long enough period of time it will literally kill me. First it will make me fat, but will that stop me? then it will make me sick but will that stop me? then if I continue.... it will kill me. That will stop me!
I really really have to make a decision. Do I continue to succumb to my desires of the flesh (sin) or do I say that I need to stop eating the things I KNOW are bad for my body? Do I continue to feed my flesh? Do I continue to feed my sin? It isn't an easy choice because I do not want to give up that momentary pleasure. I love that moment of pleasure, it does feel good. BUT it only leads me to desire MORE! What a trap! Like the bible says, I then become a slave to sin.
My new years resolution is for one year to not put in my mouth any food that I know is not good for me and feeds my fleshly desires. It is a list which applies to me personally and here are a few examples: Donuts, sweet rolls, cookies, cake, icing, cookie and cake dough, jelly beans, little debbies, hostess snack cakes, (I am starting to crave just writing them down!) icecream, shakes, candy, pie, cheesecake...
I know that no food is 'evil' or 'off limits'. I mean there are many people I know that don't have the food issues I have and are able to eat whatever they want. There's nothing wrong with that. The sin isn't the food itself, but the way I desire it. I am using it for pleasure, I am lusting after it, I am over-indulging in it. I LOVE it. I want more and more of it! I hope this makes sense.
I have said this before and of course I have no idea if I will be able to maintain 'food abstinence' for a whole year or even a whole week! But it is one day at a time and even if I mess up I just start over. It is not perfection, but progress. I am praying for God's help as I know my flesh is very weak as is my willpower.
I went to my parents over Christmas and ate cookies, candy, cheesecake. I even ate a small piece of meat. It was pleasurable and I could use the excuse of it being a holiday to allow myself the go-ahead.