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    ONEKIDSMOM   178,123
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The facts of life

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Monday, December 31, 2012

I was going to blog about something completely different this morning... but my thoughts were kind of disjointed and I decided I'd best let THAT blog percolate for a while before I write it.

Then my brother went and mentioned some real numbers in his blog about his maintenance range, and I figure I'd talk turkey to those of us small-framed women out here in Spark land trying so hard to lose the pounds and being frustrated at times.

Here's the deal. The weight maintenance game is rigged. Yeppers. Rigged.

First off, normal male body composition contains less fat and more muscle than ours does as the carriers of the progeny. When I see my body fat percentage in the 20% range, I'm doing very well. A guy? Would have to be below 15% to be as fit and healthy as I am at 20%.

This means, with a higher percentage of muscle mass, the gents burn more calories even if they are the same weight as me!

This is NORMAL, and it's OK. I like being female. Would NOT swap!

Second, guys "on average" are larger framed than we are. My son tops me by eight or nine inches. My brother by a similar amount. And lest we forget, they both work out, too. So, with a larger body mass, they require more calories to maintain.

This, too, is NORMAL, and it's OK. I like fitting into smaller spaces and being able to FIT in tourist class on an airplane without feeling my legs are being cramped!

But still, it is somewhat of an eye opener to realize that for them? A normal maintenance range comes out to a binge day for me!

Life is not fair. But it's still good. Weight loss for us ladies may take more work. But, it's still worth it! I love being me. I love being me at my "tiny" size. And if that means I can only have half the calories of my muscular male relatives, so be it... it also means I only NEED half the calories to thrive.

Spark on! emoticon

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FATHINSN 1/3/2013 7:18AM

    Gosh, you make me less jealous of my male friends who seem to effortless keeping off extra fat, thanks so much for sharing this! Now I don't have to feel over competitive with them :D And besides, we women are actually blessed with ability to make fat looks good compare to guys :D

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PENOWOK 1/3/2013 7:07AM

    I think my husband is silly when he tries to divide portions in half...he can handle more. Guys are funny when they are trying to be sweet!

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NCSUE0514 1/3/2013 5:23AM

    Congrats on having your blog post featured!

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LATTELEE 1/3/2013 12:48AM


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MARYJEANSL 1/2/2013 10:15PM

  For years (since childhood, literally, when I thought it was so unfair that my brother got so much more food than I did), I have resented this very thing. Not worth it.

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CHANGING-TURTLE 1/2/2013 10:08PM

    Well said

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    I too get frustrated when I see how much hubby and son can eat and NOT gain weight. If I ate like that I would quickly weigh 328 lbs. Well maybe not quickly, but I would definitely gain. I feel like I can eat very little just to maintain my current 150 lbs. But like you, I enjoy being a girl. I like the pretty "little" clothes I can wear and fitting into smaller spaces on a plane or the back seat of a car. My legs are short too, so I don't need much leg room. I guess I can live with being able to have less to eat than the men in my life. Especially if it means I can be around to enjoy them all for a long time yet!

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LAWANDMUSIC 1/2/2013 8:06PM

    Yes, indeed. RIGGED!

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CAMSEDGE 1/2/2013 7:29PM


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AJB121299 1/2/2013 7:15PM


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VBCABELLO72 1/2/2013 6:18PM

    John, I love the cute little joke about how we women were made. But what I think is God asked himself who could endure more pain. Then he decided to give us all that men could not handle. True story: When I was in kindergarten, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said, "a woman." I remember exactly the way I felt when I answered, too. I could not wait to have a woman's body and beauty. I love being a woman.

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CTUPTON 1/2/2013 5:56PM

    At WW meetings long ago, the guys would lose 6,7,10 sometimes 12 lbs. a week and the women had tiny losses. That's life! Chris

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GRATEFUL_BEING 1/2/2013 5:51PM

  Oh well its to great to be a woman!

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MARYHENNIG 1/2/2013 5:06PM

  happy new year!!!!

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SPAQUEEN2012 1/2/2013 4:11PM

    Thank you for these thoughts! No more whining from me - - grateful to be me! Whatever it takes and where ever I go will be worth it! emoticon

Imagine that little picture has long hair! We need more girl emoticons!

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JANETTEB553 1/2/2013 3:52PM

    Great could finally get husband to understand and hopefully cut down meal sizes he dishes up.

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MIMETALKER 1/2/2013 3:06PM

    True. I've finally accepted that and now eat half what my husband does without sulking.

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SATCHMO99 1/2/2013 12:22PM

    Thanks for a great blog. It reminds me of a saying in my family in response to a teenage whine "it's not fair"... "nobody ever promised fair" 'cos life isn't like that!

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KOOKYKATHIE 1/2/2013 11:52AM

    Something to think on!

My short body here and so easy to store fat ! I've been realizing lately that you can eat too little also and the body will store it as fat or take it from the muscle mas because it thinks it's being starved!

Keep on blogging and Happy New Year emoticon

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BRANDIM_81 1/2/2013 11:33AM

    Men lose weight just thinking about!

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SHELLIEANDY 1/2/2013 11:10AM

  Like your blog

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LLAY10 1/2/2013 11:03AM

    I'm glad this was the first blog post I read after joining SparkPeople.

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GERIKRAGH 1/2/2013 10:39AM

    Loved it! My DH loses so much faster than me!

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SHARODJAY 1/2/2013 9:29AM

  Thats life

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FIRECOM 1/2/2013 9:23AM

    At 5' 10" and 164 lb, I am at a healthy weight, but at 77 years old, I have lost a huge amount of muscle weight that I had earlier in life. Wish I could gain some of that back.

Great blog and I thank you.

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SPKRAUSE 1/2/2013 8:46AM

    Not as big as KSIGMA1222 (only 6'4" and down to 200lbs, though I was *way* over his 230-ish), but I've experienced some of the same.

Anyway, back to the blog post as such. It rings true to a great extent, and thanks for sharing. It's really worth keeping in mind for couples trying to lose weight and get fit together ... and as my SO says frequently: It's not fair!

I've got more than half a foot on her in height, and so it makes sense that what a 'healthy' weight range (and forget BMI and all that nonsense, but let's assume there's a fixed range for our heights) for each of us I'm still going to need more calories to maintain just because I'm taller and more massive. And so I get to eat more; if we were living in a famine it would be turned around because I'd be starving/wasting, but I digress. It's not fair, as she points out, because (1) I can lose weight more quickly and consistently, (2) without hitting plateaus and (3) with a calorie reduction and without a great exercise boost; whereas she (4) has to work out more and (5) monitor her intake more closely.

And even though it's not fair and we both understand the science of it all, it's tough because we still live together and she still has to see it work for me and work more slowly for her. You can know intellectually not to measure yourself against the person next to you whose body composition and all that is so different, but still, if you see them every day ...

Anyway, done meandering. Thanks again for the food for thought.

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NANNABLACK 1/2/2013 7:33AM


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SUNNYARIZONA 1/2/2013 2:36AM

    life is definitely not fair to the fairer sex, that is petite to start. so we plug on and keep hanging in there, trying to meet our goals....which eventually we WILL!!!!!!! WOO

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SADAMS7231 1/2/2013 1:43AM

    I can't wait to experiecnce all these emotions!

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ROXYZMOM 1/1/2013 10:50PM

    Nice blog! Great points!

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SHEENADEE 1/1/2013 10:42PM

    Fun blog. Thanks for sharing it with us!

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BRAVEONE92 1/1/2013 10:12PM

    Hi, and Caz sent me too. Thanks for a delightful
Blog for this time of the year. I loved it!

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DEBSZOO74 1/1/2013 7:39PM

    Great blog and fun to read! emoticon

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MEXGAL1 1/1/2013 6:41PM

    Yep not fair. To keep at my 110 weight with a smal frame I have to eat like I am on a diet all the time....just part of life. But for sure it is worth it to me. I like feeling healthy and eating good foods.
So here is to us small gals. Let's keep up the good work!
Happy New Year!

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WILLOWBROOK5 1/1/2013 5:26PM

    Boy (or should I say, Girl?), does this hit home. At a whopping 5 foot 3 (rounding up), I am still getting used to my maintenance calorie range for this weight. Not a lot to play around with, but in the end so worth it to be healthy and fit. And yes, to be relatively little! I try to make my calories count nutrition wise, while still having some less nutrient dense foods to keep me happy. Thanks f or the great post!

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GRNDMOM43 1/1/2013 4:29PM

    emoticon emoticon I love being me too! Thank you from all the petite women out there!

Comment edited on: 1/1/2013 4:29:49 PM

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MZZCHIEF 1/1/2013 4:01PM

    Fun blog!

Don't forget... Nature blessed us with a more efficient fat storage system, so in the event of famine, we'd be the last one's standing.

Somewhat comforting to know which sex is more important to the preservation of the human species... at least biologically speaking...

Have a merry day!
: )

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DEE107 1/1/2013 3:42PM

    love this blog thanks

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DEBBYFROMMT 1/1/2013 3:10PM

    Wow, you really nailed this one! So true!

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STRONGDAWG 1/1/2013 3:07PM

    The Hubster routinely lords it over me. He burns more calories per work out. His calorie range is crazy high. He came home from the gym yesterday looking for a 600 calorie snack! That was half the calories he burned for his workout. I don't even eat 600 calories for my main meal of the day!

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DSJB9999 1/1/2013 1:48PM

    emoticon for sharing!

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PATRICIAANN46 1/1/2013 1:16PM

  Over the years, my brother and I have made the decision to drop a few pounds (usually after the Holidays) and he would always lose more in less time than I did. Your blog proves WHY. I hope you don't mind if I send it to him........

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KSIGMA1222 1/1/2013 11:07AM

    Ok as a 6'6" 225 pound guy who runs 5 times a week, swims 3 times, lifts 3 times and does many other things, this is not as easy or as unfair as you all think. Flipside of it is trying to keep up. Cant just order a large pizza and a glass of chocolate milk and call it good. Still have to eat healthy or those foods just slow you down, make you sick and do not help at all.

I eat 4000 calories a day and it is not easy or fun like most think. Takes allot of figuring things out and planning. And getting enough protein and fat is really hard to get and keep in balance. So it is not just eat what I want when I want but more of knowing when and what to eat when based on my day and needs. Can get expensive and difficult to keep up without stuff oneself like a pinata.

Like everything in life, you don't understand it until you have lived it. Men face the issue of not eating enough and the right things more with this greater need or we really hurt ourselves fast and hard. With me my body starts eating itself and then throws my whole body off.

So it comes down to we all need to eat right, healthy and enough to meet our needs. Not exercising or starving ourselves so we can eat more at a certain meal or food. We all have to spend time learning what we are eating and making it our own. Increasing and decreasing these foods as needs based on our individual needs.

Thanks CAZ!

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SENATOR9 1/1/2013 10:46AM

    Well God made us first and we all know the fat is in the ribs.
So when he ask us what part to use to make the female,well
we knew right away what to give up.
emoticon John

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LKWQUILTER 1/1/2013 10:29AM

    Thanks for posting such a true blog. Men do have it easier. My dh and drop those holiday 5 lbs in a week while it takes me a month or longer. Like you, I am proud to be a female so just have to keep working harder.

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DARLENEK04 1/1/2013 10:26AM

    Hi and Caz sent me

I know what you say is true, because since Sept. 3, I have lost 40 pounds,
my husband lost 36 just cutting back a little to help support me in my
quest for goal weight for my health.

Thanks for putting into words what we know to be true....

Happy New Year,

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    Well said.

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LOVESLIFE48 1/1/2013 9:39AM

    I know, it's not fair but that's the way it is emoticon

2013 will be our most successful year!!! We can do it!! Remember, you can do it and you are worth it!

Happy New Year!!! emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 1/1/2013 9:02AM

    My suspicions have been confirmed. But it all shakes out in the end, right?

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