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    ONEKIDSMOM
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The facts of life

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Monday, December 31, 2012

I was going to blog about something completely different this morning... but my thoughts were kind of disjointed and I decided I'd best let THAT blog percolate for a while before I write it.

Then my brother went and mentioned some real numbers in his blog about his maintenance range, and I figure I'd talk turkey to those of us small-framed women out here in Spark land trying so hard to lose the pounds and being frustrated at times.

Here's the deal. The weight maintenance game is rigged. Yeppers. Rigged.

First off, normal male body composition contains less fat and more muscle than ours does as the carriers of the progeny. When I see my body fat percentage in the 20% range, I'm doing very well. A guy? Would have to be below 15% to be as fit and healthy as I am at 20%.

This means, with a higher percentage of muscle mass, the gents burn more calories even if they are the same weight as me!

This is NORMAL, and it's OK. I like being female. Would NOT swap!

Second, guys "on average" are larger framed than we are. My son tops me by eight or nine inches. My brother by a similar amount. And lest we forget, they both work out, too. So, with a larger body mass, they require more calories to maintain.

This, too, is NORMAL, and it's OK. I like fitting into smaller spaces and being able to FIT in tourist class on an airplane without feeling my legs are being cramped!

But still, it is somewhat of an eye opener to realize that for them? A normal maintenance range comes out to a binge day for me!

Life is not fair. But it's still good. Weight loss for us ladies may take more work. But, it's still worth it! I love being me. I love being me at my "tiny" size. And if that means I can only have half the calories of my muscular male relatives, so be it... it also means I only NEED half the calories to thrive.

Spark on! emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNHUNT 2/2/2013 11:32AM

    emoticon emoticon YOU NAILED IT. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOBSONSM 1/14/2013 11:55AM

    emoticon

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1GROVES2 1/8/2013 10:54AM

    Very interesting and informative....my husband can eat about anything and also can take a stroll for 10 min and not gain any thing....me eat a scoop of ice cream and gain 2 lbs....power walk for 30 min and not lose any thing! Unfair, but you have put it in perspective!
Thanks

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CM_GARDNER78 1/7/2013 11:56PM

    TOTALLY! emoticon

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PEACEHOPE1 1/7/2013 1:51PM

    So true. This is exactly what began my weight gain after marriage. At 5'8", I began eating the same quantity of the same foods as my 6'6" hubby. And now I know that I just can't do that. We require so much less fuel to function, and thanks to your blog I need to appreciate that instead of be frustrated by it. Thanks!

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BRENDA_G50 1/7/2013 10:05AM

    emoticon emoticon

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FITMOMINNJ 1/7/2013 6:16AM

    emoticon

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LIFETIMER54 1/7/2013 5:01AM

  emoticon emoticon

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SPSPSP1 1/6/2013 11:20PM

    Indeed!

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JIBBIE49 1/6/2013 9:41PM

    emoticon Great to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail. What an honor. emoticon

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FIRECOM 1/6/2013 11:47AM

    I would normally agree with the muscle mass argument, but in my case, age has taken its toll on muscle. DRAT! Try as I might it seems like I will never attain anything close to what I used to be.

As to the differences between men and women...

VIVA LA DIFFERENCES.

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RITAROSE 1/6/2013 6:53AM

  I, too have thought of the inequity of fat levels in men and women and then, like you, realized that even though the deck is stacked against us fat wise, I would never consider swapping either! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SAMI199 1/6/2013 4:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HYATTI1 1/5/2013 11:27PM

    I agree with you and wish I could say it works for me...but not being a small framed woman I have my own demons I have to deal with.

Joanna

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DESERTFLOWERG 1/5/2013 2:54PM

    Yes being smaller means needing less calories.

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RUN4FOOD 1/5/2013 11:19AM

    I feel luckier today, thanks.
I can't eat as much as your brother, but I'm trying to work in that direction.

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FROMNDTOGA 1/5/2013 10:06AM

    So, so, so, TRUE. My first significant weight gain was when I was first married. I, too, matched the portion size of my new DH. I gained - he didn't!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/5/2013 10:07:23 AM

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TINAJANE76 1/5/2013 7:32AM

    Thanks for this great blog. I find lots of things about weight loss and maintenance unfair, but I've come to accept them. I accept that I have to eat less and exercise more than even the average woman my age and size who's never had weight issues. I accept that I wasn't gifted with a raging metabolism, but was gifted with a raging appetite. Learning to accept these things has allowed me to develop a plan that addresses them and allows me to stay successful.

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JENNAAW 1/5/2013 7:25AM

    A well-stated reality. Needs to be said until people like me "get it".

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REENIE131 1/4/2013 10:33PM

    Yep! So very true!

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KACEYSW 1/4/2013 1:41PM

    Thanks for the reality check! That is great information and I really needed it. My roommate is 5 foot-nothing and weighs 140 pounds, all solid muscle. It makes me feel better knowing that he needs to eat more. I just have a hard time convincing him that I only need just less than half of what he eats when he decides to cook for us.

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NEWHEARTSTART 1/4/2013 12:15PM

    I can watch every morsel that enters my mouth, exercise everyday, and drink tons of water only to realize Zero weight loss.

My husband could cut down from six to five Dr Peppers a day for a week and drop twenty pounds all while sitting in front of his computer all day.

So rigged.

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WILSON1926 1/4/2013 9:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMANDACOETZER 1/4/2013 8:09AM

    Thanks

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REJOHNSON3 1/4/2013 5:36AM

    I understand! Very well spoken and appreciated.

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FLY0NTHEWAL1 1/4/2013 3:30AM

    I think one of the reasons I've managed to gain quite a bit of weight recently is because I was doing some general free-eating, and because my partner is a 6', 200 lb man, and I a 5'3, 150 lb woman (several months ago anyway), I was matching my meals to his. Now four months later I'm just about 170 and he's... about the same. Aggravating, yes. But not the end of the world. Thanks for wording this so well. I hadn't considered this as a reason for my turn off the wagon.

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TYLERHILARY 1/3/2013 11:25PM

  emoticon So true - and the reason I put on weight when I got married - I always ate the same size portions as my husband - and guess what I need to be eating about two thirds of what he eats to maintain!

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JAMER123 1/3/2013 10:24PM

    emoticon well spoken emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 1/3/2013 9:36PM

    emoticon

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MICKEYH 1/3/2013 9:31PM

    This is so true. Thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon

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AMBER461 1/3/2013 9:16PM

  Great blog. Thanks for sharing, it is true we are different from men in our body structure they make muscle while women make fat. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/3/2013 9:19:39 PM

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SJKENT1 1/3/2013 7:49PM

    thanks

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J2740LOU 1/3/2013 6:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Great Blog!

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L1ZB3TH354 1/3/2013 6:02PM

    emoticon

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CHARTHESTAR 1/3/2013 5:51PM

    I wouldn't trade for a minute either!

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PCASEY7 1/3/2013 5:34PM

    Great blog, thanks for pointing out the differences between male and female requirements as I sometimes forget and envy men...ha!

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DATMAMA4 1/3/2013 3:10PM

    Thanks for the reminder that "fair" does not always mean "equal portions" with my hubby. As a 5'2" woman, even a small amount of weight gain shows more than it would on a taller person. Any time I've ever tried to lose weight along with my husband, he has always lost twice as much with half as much effort.

Oh well...who ever said life was fair?

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EENLIGHTENING 1/3/2013 2:34PM

    Like everything in life, it boils down to perspective.

I am 6'1" and for a woman, that is TALL, so even though I have never been super heavy or overweight, I am still cramped in those airline seats. emoticon No worries, it's only an observation not a complaint. emoticon

I don't view life from the lens of what is fair or unfair, but as more of a positive/negative vibration. I choose to project positive vibes about life so I can then expect positive back. If I think life is unfair then that is how it will appear. Just sayin'!

Thanks for sharing!

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DESERTJULZ 1/3/2013 1:44PM

    Yes, it is rigged! At only 5' 2" and a small-boned frame, I've had to accept that fact that my upper range of calories is below many people's lower range. I can still eat as many different foods and as many servings as they eat; the individual servings, however, must be significantly smaller!

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MOMMY445 1/3/2013 1:18PM

    what a great blog! thanks for sharing and have a terrific day!

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MARJORIE80 1/3/2013 12:37PM

  When looking at the calories allowed per day for me, my husband said, "Is that all you get? That's not enough!". I'll love him forever for saying that! At least he realizes the big difference in our allotments and feels for me! emoticon emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 1/3/2013 11:28AM

    Great blog!

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KNYAGENYA 1/3/2013 11:07AM

    emoticon

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JERICHO1991 1/3/2013 10:36AM

    Good perspective and attitude.

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NIKKIJ55 1/3/2013 8:56AM

    emoticon

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LISA_FRAME 1/3/2013 8:19AM

  thanks

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DJSHIP46 1/3/2013 8:12AM

    Life is good... comparing our journey to that of men... Maybe not so good!!! I have always know that you have to be tougher to be a woman!!!

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LIFETIMER54 1/3/2013 8:06AM

  emoticon emoticon

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SHULAMIT58 1/3/2013 7:41AM

    Great blog-- thanks for pointing out one of the key differences between men and women.... and there are more too ;-).

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GINA180847 1/3/2013 7:35AM

    I was always amazed at what I could pack away and still be a reasonable weight at under 5'. My ex was hefty and 5' 10" and anything he ate went to fat. But that might have been from too much alcohol and a defective liver.

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