I have been struggling with some emotions lately and it has been from the story that I am about to tell in this blog. I am throwing it out there in an attempt to "get it off my chest" and calm the emotions so that I can move on. It is very strange that I am having these emotions because the story obviously has a happy ending but here I am dealing with them anyway. This blog is really for me to put it out there and get over it and to turn the emotions into celebration instead of negative thoughts and overeating. So here it goes...
Five years ago today, I was notified that I had Thyroid cancer. Not exactly the way I wanted to end the year and definitely not the way I wanted to begin a new year.
That notification actually started with a surgery on Dec. 21st to remove the right side of my Thyroid. I had a few nodules growing on my Thyroid that we getting bigger and seemed to be growing in a place that could eventually cause some problems. At first the decision was made to just keep an eye on them but when I began having problems with a "catch" when I swallowed, the surgen decided that the best thing would be to take out the side that we causing the issue.
I had previously had needle biopsies to check for cancer but nothing was found. It was determined that this would be a "routine" surgery. So on Dec. 21st, 2007 the right side was removed. The Dr. told me that as a part of the "routine" they would test the removed side. I didn't expect anything bad since I had the biopsies in October.
I was in the hospital 2 days and then went home to recover. I then was back to work after the holiday. On the 31st, I decided to call in to see what the pathology report said. The nurse said something like ...blah blah blah carcinoma. I said "did you just say what I think you said?" She apologized and said that she didn't know that I hadn't heard from the Dr. about the report. I was stunned, not because the wrong person was breaking the news to me but because I heard that they found CANCER!!!
That rocked me to the core! It was already a difficult time for me personally and then to find this out. I was devastated. After notifying my boss and going to the break room, I began calling my family to tell them. My husband came to get me at work to take me home. After I got home, I got a call from the Dr. and the plan of attack was put into place.
The Dr. said that the cancer was found along the incision so they couldn't be sure if all the cancer was in the side that was removed so I would have to undergo another surgery to have the left side of the Thyroid removed. So, on January 10, 2008 I had the second surgery.
I have had the radioactive iodine and also had a test to make sure that there wasn't cancer in the lymph nodes. All is clear! Praise the Lord!
I am a 5 year survivor! Any of you that have had cancer know that the 5 year mark is a great one.
A few years ago, my niece was studying about cancer in school and when she came home, she had some questions for me. She asked me if the scar I had on my neck was from having cancer and I told her yes. Then after a while she came back and said.."Tia Soozee, When you had cancer, did you survive?" After laughing for what seemed like an extremely long time, I told her that yes I survived!
I am a survivor! I have walked in the survivor walk for the Relay for Life (and cried the whole way around the track). I never thought it would happen to me but I am sure no one thinks it will happen to them.
As this day had approached I have had several days of what I can only describe as mourning. I have done a lot of pity eating and emotional eating to comfort myself. Not everyday has been that way but there have been several. Yesterday was a good example of one of those days. I moped around, didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to be left alone. It was almost like I was dreading today. I should have been celebrating the fact that I have survived and 5 years later, I am working on getting other areas of my health in shape so that I am even more healthy!
Tomorrow is the beginning of a new year, my CHAMPIONSHIP YEAR! I have already begun to build on my fundamentals and I have been feeling better and more motivated. So...those days of feeling down about my past with cancer, with the weight gains, emotional eating, and any other misstep or trip up that I have had is all in the past! I am moving forward!
If I can look cancer in the face and keep fighting, then I can look this weight in the face and keep fighting! I can look Diabetes in the face and keep fighting! I can look sleep apnea in the face and keep fighting! I can look my whole list of illnesses in the face and keep fighting and take each and everyone of them down! Dealing with cancer wasn't a one day thing. There were steps to take, some were easy and some were really difficult. Some things took time and some were just tests that had to be run. I need to remember that while I am trying to take down all these illnesses and lose this weight that some things that I have to do will be easy but there will be lots of things that won't be easy. Some things will be a process and some will be quick things.
This is NOT an overnight deal. This is a lifetime deal as I am making a healthy lifestyle. I have had a long life of unhealthy days and have built up many unhealthy habits that need to be broken so it is going to take time. Maybe I am still eating things that others would tell me that I need to cut out but right now, I am going to work on cutting down and then when I can cut them down, I can work them out. I am not the same as everyone else. I have said this time and time again. I have got to do what is right for me. I have a long journey and I plan to work my way through it.
Okay enough of that....Let's celebrate my 5 year anniversary of surviving cancer!!!