Monday, December 31, 2012
Looking back at this year...I just think of how interesting and slightly hectic it was. Living with my fiance at my parents' house definitely was an experiences that I never want to repeat. I learned that I am capable of earning good grades at a University, and I also learned that I am able to maintain my weight, so when I do reach my goal weight, I'll be ready! I'm excited for this new year, especially because each term I finish is one term closer to achieving my academic goals. I have a few goals for 2013, and they're actually goals that I started working on two days ago:
1: I am not a dog. I will not reward myself with food. It is neither appropriate, nor healthy.
2: I will not accept the would-be garbage of others. That is to say, I will no longer be eating the left overs of others. Again, I'm not a dog. I don't need a 'doggy bag'.
3: I will confront those who offend me when it happens rather than waiting to discuss it at a later time.
4:I will make an effort to drink 8 cups of water a day, ever day. Water is an essential nutrient, and it is vital to my health. I wouldn't go a day without eating, so why go a day without water?
5: I will continue my exercise routine, and do more strength training.
6: Most importantly, I am going to make an effort to slowly take processed foods out of my diet, and incorporate much more fresh foods, and learn to cook more healthy meals.
I was watching a documentary (available streaming on Netflix) "Hungry For Change". It seriously was very eye opening, and while it did discuss things that I already knew to be true, it presented it in a way that really made me think about how I want to continue living.
Through out this whole weight loss journey so far, the one thing that I've struggled with changing is my eating. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's why it's taken as long as it has to even get to where I am weight wise. I've said it before that I don't like the way that I eat, yet I'm almost afraid to change it (symptom of addiction). I truly believe that the final piece of this 'health puzzle' is changing what I eat. I do truly believe that this change has to happen from the inside out. Even if I'm eating within calorie range, what's the point when those calories don't contain any nutrients? I already knew that my resolution for the new year was to change my eating habits. I took it slow by starting with exercise, then tracking everything 100% honestly. The final step is to change my eating habits. I know however, that this cannot be done in a week. It's going to take time, but I do want to eventually move to a place where I'm not emotionally dependent on processed foods to feel good. Ideally, I'd like to lose my taste for them all together. I know that the chemicals will eventually ruin my health so it definitely is something I feel has to change. I am proud of myself because I have pretty much eliminated soda from my diet. I had a few sips on Christmas day, but that was it, and I'm not planning on drinking it anymore. I don't feel deprived without it, so that's actually a good sign. I'm not saying that I'm going to go straight to organic, or stop eating meat or whatever, but I know I have to start somewhere. I guess the familiarity of the prepackaged meals, and deserts, and all of the crap that is usually served at family gatherings is what makes it hard to even think about moving away from them. I am a person that doesn't like to make waves, and I feel that having a specialized diet (it's not a matter of 'if', but WHEN) will cause problems. I am just going to have to deal with it..no, THEY'RE going to have to deal with it. I think another important resolution is going to be to stop worrying about what my family thinks of my personal decisions. I want to enjoy my life, and stop living it for others. If that means stop going out to eat, or limiting how much I do it, then that's what I'm going to do. I don't need food to socialize. I can still go, and just not order anything (the last time I did that, my 2 sisters actually got mad at me!!) I know I can do this and I am not doing this for anyone but ME.
I hope everyone has a great new year. My goal for tomorrow is to just go for a walk rather than a jog. That way, I don't have it in my head right a way that I have to be extreme to make positive changes. I want to ease into this and not set myself up for another failure. I can do this, and I know how to do this. Now, it's just a matter of DOING this. I will weigh in, and take measurements, and of course, eat a healthy breakfast. I am so stoked about 2013. I WILL get under 200 pounds in 2013.