I must say that it is a fond farewell. This has been a really good year in so many ways. It has definitely been a year of transformation. *** WARNING*** This is probably going to be a long read but hopefully well worth it. Transformation for me started last year in 2011. In June of 2011 I had my first long awaited Total Knee Replacement and with the recovery came my highest weight ever. As I said in my poem "Metamorphosis" (my last blog) I had an epiphany, I didn't really realize that it was until someone pointed it out to me. It sort of came in two stages. The first part of it was as I was walking along in an Outlet mall, using my rolling walker and seeing myself in the windows of the store front, I was filled with disgust at what I had become. Disgust and shame. Then stepping on the scale and seeing 318, with my shoes and splint on so I figured 315, was part two of my epiphany. I new I had to do something. I new that it was not just about diet. I knew that my thinking must change. I joined the Beck Weight Loss Solutions team on Sparkpeople and had bought and begun working through the book. I found and knew all along that I told myself and believed things that weren't true or unhelpful in my weight loss journey. I started using some of the tools suggested and made myself little cards to review each day and made a list of advantages for weight loss. God showed me a few scriptures that have helped me through this past year. Romans 12:1 and 2 have been key to me and really jump started my journey. Verse two talks about being transformed through the renewing of my mind. He brought other scriptures to me as well that I put on little cards and reviewed often.
I had heard that a friend at church was doing Atkins and losing weight significantly. When I saw her and started talking to her and saw that she had lost I remembered that I had done that in the past and done well on that plan. So in December 2011, after losing about 10 lbs already I began the low carb way of eating. I joined the Low Carb team on Sparkpeople and have stayed with this plan for a year now and totally have lost 76 pounds. This team has been so great. Giving really helpful info and such wonderful encouragement. But the weight loss is only part of the fond journey. I had my second Total Knee Replacement this past July 2012.
I have been in Physical Therapy since June of 2011. For 18 months I have been getting stronger and stronger and had such wonderful encouragement from the best Physical Therapist in the world. He told me clear back in Oct of 2011, when I told him that I was working on losing weight but that I have tried so many times to do that, that this time I would do it. This time it would be for good. I put that into my renewing mind as, I think the phrase is "apples of gold fitly spoken". Almost as a prophesy. So my knees and legs are now functioning without pain, I am walking with not a walker, cane or crutch. I am a different person now. That "epiphany" also hit me one year after the first as I was seeing myself again at the same outlet mall and saw myself in the window. I was amazed that I was seeing such a different person than just one year prior. I could hardly believe the difference. No walker, much smaller etc.
And another fun thing that I have seen over this past year has been all of the changes in my life and lifestyle as I have been on this journey. I have blogged about my list of Advantages of Losing Weight and have met most of those desires but almost every day there is something new that I see that I could not have done before or didn't have before.
The advantages have been everything from less meds to dancing at my daughter's wedding. From being able to sit in a booth at a restaurant to my most recent ...being able to cross my legs. I love being able to cross my legs. I think I need to remember to blog whenever I am aware of a new "advantage" of weight loss. Of course it is also wonderful to get rid of clothes that are too big for me and being able to fit into smaller clothes. I love being able to be more active. I can move freely in worship now and I feel so free. I know that I actually have a long way to go. I want to lose another 100 lbs but this last year has been so wonderful and I am truly blessed to have found freedom. Freedom from disgust, shame, addiction, cravings, gluttony, laziness and I could go on and on. I have found freedom to worship God in dance as I have wanted to. Freedom to eat only when hungry and freedom to not eat just because it is there. Freedom to say no. Freedom to be satisfied, and freedom to find my satisfaction in other things than food. My theme song for this year has been "Holding Nothing Back." One of the lyrics is "Nothing is going to hold me back." That is my constant thought of the year.
Looking ahead to 2013 I want to stay on track with this journey and know that I can and will, just like Russ said when he said, "This time you will do it Faith." I also want to move forward in my destiny. I know God has purpose for me that has been on hold for a bit and it is time to move into the future knowing that He has something special that is for me to do and be.
A fond farewell 2012 and Hello 2013. Here I come!
PS - I also plan to blog more often in 2013. Hopefully at least once a week.