Monday, December 31, 2012
I joined SparkPeople on November 8, 2011. It was the day after my younger brother and his girlfriend announced to the family that they were engaged. With a September date, I had around 10 months to lose as much weight as I could. At that point, I would have been the heaviest in the wedding party (including the groomsmen). My goal was to change that. I knew I'd still probably be the heaviest bridesmaid, but I'd be mortified if there wasn't at least one guy bigger. Even if the guy was bigger because of muscles and not fat, I'd take it. Anyway, long story short, I did great! I was motivated and committed and lost about 60 pounds!! Although there are things I can pick out that I don't like about my body I am very happy with how I looked in the wedding pictures.
Unfortunately, after the wedding, I lost my motivation and let my emotional eating creep back into my life. I love my brother and sister-in-law very much and am extremely happy for them. However, I would be lying if I said it hasn't been hard. I am 34 (five years older than him) and not at all where I thought I'd be in life. I always imagined I'd be married with at least one, if not two, kids by now. Whenever I get upset about where I am in my personal life I turn to food. I say it's because it comforts me, but that's not true. Most of the time, I feel like s*** afterward. I have put on at least 20 pounds since the wedding. I know that this is unhealthy and not at all where I want to be in my life. If I'm not careful, before I know it, I'll be back to where I started. That's not what I want for my life! However, I've just not been able to get myself started again. I've sporadically checked into SparkPeople, when for months, I was faithful checking in multiple times a day. Until about two days ago, my page still had a Thanksgiving theme. I guess I've been waiting for that "thing" that will make me wake up and start living for my future. I think it finally happened.
Four days ago I heard that a friend I grew up with had gone into cardiac arrest the night before. Although we had lost touch since our high school graduation (except through Facebook) he was like a second brother to me while we were growing up. He is 35 with a wife, two little boys, and a baby on the way. Thank goodness his progress is looking good and he is slowly getting better!! It is definitely an eye opener for me. I don't know why it happened to him, but he is overweight, so that could easily be a contributing factor. Even if it's not, it has still served as a wake up call for me. If I keep doing what I'm doing that could easily be me. Heart disease is the leading cause of death in women. If nothing else, I am increasing the risk that my life could be much shorter than it should be, and I want to be around for as long as I can. Right now, I am vowing to make healthy changes in 2013 to get the body and life I want and deserve!!