Monday, December 31, 2012
Oh you fickle, fickle creature! I have never met with anything more mysterious than you. You seem to change from day to day, never keeping the same form. One day I think I have you within my grasp, and the next? You have vanished, leaving a trail that's difficult to follow. How am I supposed to know how to find you when I can't even pinpoint exactly what you are?!
Here's the thing, happiness. I'm done searching for you. I'm done seeking and craving the likes of you. My life is full, blessed and wonderful. If you'd like to travel along with me on this journey, be my guest.
Happiness. What does it even mean and where on earth does it come from? Everything about our Americanized, Eurocentralized culture tells us that it's something that's unequivocally important to the essence of life.
And, so, people search for it. They wander the earth blindly following its trail. They seek it in bigger houses, they look for it in the latest technological gadget, and they search for it in television programs. It seems as if everyone is looking for it, and very few people ever truly find it.
As I reflect on this last year, happiness sits idly in my mind, peacefully dwelling (after all - it doesn't have much room to maneuver in that madness).
This year, I've gained so much (and thankfully not in the waistline). I've gotten wonderful new friends (all of you included!) who have helped to keep me motivated (mostly) and on the way to smaller pants sizes and (as if I needed it...) a greater confidence in myself. I've been able to share what's on my mind, content with the (cowardly?) anonymity the internet provides.
I've moved, I've gotten a new job (two, actually), I've gone through major life changes.
This year has taught me many things, but chief among them is that I need to stop questing for happiness realize that it's been with me all along, just waiting for the moment I stop my searching to say hello. Doesn't that seem counterintuitive?
My favorite writer, Jane Austen, penned these lines: "Know your own happiness". And that's what I will be striving for this year. Not to search and seek and long for happiness, but to KNOW it. To BE it.
Thank you all for being a part of that.