Monday, December 31, 2012
Well today I ran across spark people on pinterest. I absolutely love pinterest because it helps me with food ideas that are healthier and as well as home decorating ideas and children ideas. I have already lost 60 lbs and whoever, if anyone, reads this is probably thinking I dont need to lose any more weight. Mind you, its not the weight i am trying to lose. It is my BMI I am focusing on because I am only 4'11 and 5 lbs on me looks like 15 on someone else. I want a healthy BMI and a stronger core so that I know I can take care of my children, be healthy, and perform my job at work easier. I work with mentally handicapped adults and if one falls or one is in a wheel chair, I have to be able to lift that person. So, a 4'11 person lifting atleast a 140 lbs person is a bit tricky. I love my job dont get me wrong, but its hard sometimes. Anyway, I do want to feel better about myself. If you ever hear skinny girls call themselves fat or are self conscious, I am one of them. But I was also the fat girl at one point in time as well. So I still see myself as the fat girl. That is a very hard habit to break. I also have issues with my self image due to the fact that I am divorced and was never treated like I should have been Like my profile says, I've been through hell and back..and im sure if I look hard enough i've got vouchers laying around some where. :)
I'm working towards being a healthy mom for my two children. I also want my boyfriend to be proud to call me his girlfriend. Which he tells me he is, and he does show it. But I still have that fat girl persona going on I guess. Well her goes my 2013 New Years Resolution: I want to lose 18 lbs and to be more fit. I want a stronger stamina. And I want to be proud of how I look. Not much right? Its harder than you think when its the last 18 lbs! Wish me luck, I could use the support!