I went back and read my blog on 12/21/2010 called "I Know Who I Am Now" and could not believe how much motivation and determination I had and then it went no where! Well I am here again and this time I'm not giving up! I need this, I want this, and I will have my body back to being fit.
I don't want to sit back any longer and say, oh I can't go into Victoria Secrets, they don't make my size in there, or Oh, I have to go to a another store because my sizes are not sold here and or complain constantly about my legs, back, and breathing.
It made me mad but also depressed when at Christmas my hubby bought me 4 new expensive undergarments (yes, bras) and I have to take them all back just because I am one size up than the biggest they sell in the store, and then I tried on my new jacket he bought me and it's too tight around my stomach. I don't want to go through this again next year. I want to look good, feel good, and be good!!!!!
Okay here is my old post and I wanted to put it back out there because I DO KNOW WHO I AM!
I know who I am now!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
It's been 11 long months this year and I sat back and let my life run me. I finally realized that I am myself! What I mean by that, I can be a servant of our Lord, a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee and still be myself. I just had to find out what was important in my life. That was harder than I thought. I love all that I am, but I was stretching thin, so I realized my God, my Family and then what ever comes has to fall in behind this.
My dad has not gotten no worse but no better, hospice is still called in and he still is terminally ill; however, I can not do anything about this any longer, all I can do is pray and be there for them when needed
(HE PASSED ON 11/3/12) . My son (15year old) will not succeed in school unless he wants too, so I am giving him over to the Lord for that and motivate him as much as possible (and yes still punish him when he is not doing what he is capable) but I am no longer going to take it upon myself to do his work in order for him to pass. My job, I am just a secretary, I get paid under $10 and no overtime, so I have started working for what I get paid for, and no volunteering for after hours items((CHANGED JOBS 6/12))). My GOD, I will serve with all my heart, but what I can't accomplish, I won't worry, just pray and do what is possible. ((SIDE NOTE MY OLDEST SON GOT MARRIED 10/12 FULL TIME JOB AND OUT ON HIS OWN!)))
My weight, is gone too far. I am back where I started in 2009. I am broke up about this, but I am not going to let it destroy me or get me down any longer. A friend told me (Thanks Jessica) that I can do it, I have done it and I will do it!
I know that we all have our ups and downs, and I won't be able to say that I will never get down, I am just going to pray that when I do, I will fall back on my friends and family here on Sparks.
Sparks, has been the biggest influence in my life!
Okay, this was scattered, but this is what I found out about myself. I am a Young woman who is a Servant of God, mother, daughter, wife, and most of all I am ME and I am important!!!!!