KIMS1972
1,000-2,499 SparkPoints 1,109
SparkPoints
 

Beating the Insults

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Yes, its true, 2012 has come and gone and my '12 resolution of weight loss was barely thought of. Oh sure, I logged on to Sparkpeople here and there, spin the wheel, mark my water intake but by evening I was usually doing my night binges only to end this year with an extra 10 pounds...

I'm not going to sit here and whine about it, I'm a big girl and capable of my own decisions. I know that I have issues with depression and stress eating, I have outlets I could have used to at least attempt a slight weightloss.

I truly believe 2013 will be my year. I still have all my reasoning's I've listed in the past; Health, growing and playing with my daughter, self-confidence, etc., however, I'm not sure if the world tilted a bit or what, but the meanies are coming out of the woodwork.

Last Friday morning my 6yr old daughter was eating breakfast with me, I saw a look of hurt in her eyes. After bating her for awhile she finally gave in and told me that a boy in school was giving her a hard time because "Her Mom Was Fat". Oye! I can't say I am shocked, they are kindergarteners and children can be mean. I had to deal with kids saying it to me when I was in school and I remember how hurt I was that they would talk about my Mom that way.

Then this Friday my daughter and I went out for lunch at a "Nicer" restaurant, we were seated next to a table of men who were harassing one of the younger guys for getting engaged, well, it went to them poking fun at women gaining weight after marriage. I won't get into the terms that were used, but as they were talking about it a few pointed and laughed in my direction, enough that my daughter witnessed this. Needless to say, I quickly paid my bill and left. In the parking lot my daughter said she felt bad for me. I told her not to feel bad for me, I did this to myself and I can and will take care of it so she never has to sit through these types of insults again.

I lost my Mom last year to cancer, the Christmas and New Years Holidays bring back a lot of sad feelings but then to be compounded by the insults has made this last week terrible. My attitude towards people has been less than nice. I don't want to be that way. I want to be the Mom who supports my daughter, not the Mom whose daughter has a need to support and protect her Mom. She is way too young for this and I am to blame that she is going through all of this.

I read a quote last night that truly caught how I have been feeling:

When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose; what a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page. - Eileen Caddy

I am at that point and I will take this wonderful opportunity to start all over again, I'm turning that page. Thank you Eileen.

I know I am not alone in this. I not only have friends, but I also have Sparkpeople.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.
-Kim
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KIMZEE71
    I have cried my eyes out in a stairwell over a snotty mean kid telling me I was fat. It was all I could do to not say something very mean back to him. We've all been there, you are not alone.
    Kim emoticon
    1423 days ago
  • KIMS1972
    Thank you all for your very nice comments. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years.
    1439 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    Almost everybody who reads your blog has probably been there, done that...

    So, I doubt that you will get any nasty comments.

    If you do happen to get a comment that is upsetting to you, just delete it... You have the power here.

    I think that you will find that there is an amazing amount of support here on Spark.

    emoticon
    1440 days ago
  • JENNIK2
    emoticon
    1440 days ago
  • DOLPHINSINGER72
    I totally know how you feel. I like going to chat rooms. You do not know how many times I have been called "fatty" just out of the blue. I can not believe how rude people can be. I have to admit I am not very nice about it when they do say stuff like that. My usual response is "I may be fat but your are ugly, and I can lose weight". :P I know so mature. But it is true. I have lost 55 pounds since August. They are still ugly inside to say such things to someone they don't know. :)

    Let's keep pushing in the new year!
    1440 days ago
  • HEATHERFREE
    Oh my gosh me and you are TWINS! Right down to our attitudes towards others!! I did not have a gain....but this year I have played around up and down to lose 28 which when I weigh on Jan 2nd will probably be less..because the past week I have binged at some point everyday. I want 2013 to be my year too~! SO LETS GET IT DONE! PERIOD! emoticon on doing a blog!!!
    1440 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by KIMS1972