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jokes and A&I WK4 Candy Canes: Christmas Traditions


Sunday, December 30, 2012

A&I WK4 Candy Canes: Christmas Traditions
This week for the Aspire & Inspire team we were asked to write about your family’s Christmas traditions or about your best Christmas. SO HERE SOME tradition I LOVE
1. I COMPLAIN terribly ABOUT IT BUT I LOVE GOING TO MIDNIGHT MASS WHAT USE TO START AT MIDNIGHT AND NOW GET OVER AT MIDNIGHT
2. OPAKY - WHAT IS CHRISTMAS WAFER family members and friends break off a small piece of the opłatek wafer and give it to one another along with a blessing. Breaking off and exchanging part of opłatek with someone is symbol of forgiveness between two people and is meant to remind participants of the importance of Christmas, God, and family.
A sample blessing can be religious "I wish you much health, happiness and the Lord's bountiful blessings as well as the fulfillment of all your plans and everything you wish for yourself AND THAT YOU WILL BE HERE NEXT YEAR. It is also common to put a "shared part" into the envelope while you're sending a Christmas card to someone close to you so that during Christmas Eve supper someone could share it with you as well as those personally present. Another tradition, connected to the belief that during the Holy Night (the Night 24/25th Dec) animals could speak with a human voice, is to give the only colored wafer to the farm animals. This tradition is sometimes maintained in the countryside.. I LOVE THIS TRADATIOM.
The tradition of sharing the Opłatek, or Christmas wafer is one of the rich variety of traditions that is celebrated during Christmas Eve Vigil which is culturally the most important, elegant and sumptuous evening in the whole
3. GETTING ONE PRESENT AFTER CHURCH AD WAITING FOR THE OTHER LATER
4. THE CHRISTMASS EVE MEAL WHAT IS SAUSAGE AND PERIOGES
5. GIVING GIFTS TO MY NIECE AND NEWPHEW AND ENJOYING Christmas with them and my sister
6. Enjoying my sister in law Christmas
Jokes
A New Christmas Tradition



One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for
his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his
elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast
as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of
be
ing behind schedule. Then, Mrs. Claus told him that her Mom was
coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
Then when he went to harness the Reindeer, he found three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and
the toy bag fell to the ground, and scattered the toys. So,
frustrated, Santa went back into the house for a cup of coffee and a
shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had hid the
liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he
accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of
little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and
found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then, the doorbell rang and Santa cussed his way to the door. He
opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big
Christmas Tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas
Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you,
Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
Tree
An Internet Christmas
T'was the Internet Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.


The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;

"Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel;
"On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal!
"Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!"

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my "Ram",
Then into my room rose a full hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.
Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive, and added a "Dimm",
Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
As he added the latest version of Netscape.

The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"

"Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. Bill Watterson
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water. Carl Reiner
Corruption is like a ball of snow, once it’s set a rolling it must increase. Charles Caleb Colton
There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you…. In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. ~Ruth Stout
Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat. ~
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FEMISLIM 12/31/2012 1:06AM

    Thanks for sharing the jokes and traditions.

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JUSTLLAMA 12/31/2012 12:34AM

    You have some wonderful traditions. Thanks for sharing!

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CTMOM2KIDS 12/30/2012 10:08PM

    I just love midnight mass. I haven't been since my kids were born. I think next year we will see if we can stay up to get there. I love the Christmas wafer tradition... so beautiful!

And the jokes, especially Santa's rough day, were keepers!! I laughed so hard I snorted!

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/30/2012 9:05PM

    I used to love the 5 mass at our church the retired preist made it a childrens mass ,the children read childrens choir etc so nice and loving. the new pator changed all that no more kids at mass ,the choirsings stuff i neverheard of no joy. and midnight is to late to see what he went to ruin on that mass too. I miss the old traditions and the old ways

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CASSIOEPIA 12/30/2012 8:50PM

    Midnight Mass is one of my favorites too. I love the idea of the Christmas wafer.

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2WHEELEDSHARON 12/30/2012 5:51PM

    I love celebrating Christmas services wih my Catholic friends, your traditions and stories make me wish I grew up Catholic. So do your jokes. Ha ha.

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SLIMINDOWN31 12/30/2012 5:35PM

    Cute!

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SIOBHANKNITS 12/30/2012 5:23PM

    Yes, midnight Mass at Christmas is one of my favorite things.
I did LOL when I read the joke about Santa's rough day.
Thanks for making me smile!

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