I just want to cry!!!! :'( something has to give
Sunday, December 30, 2012
I find myself back in this terrible position of seeing 199.8 on the scale this morning. Can I just say how terrifying that feels... I know that there are people out there who would love to see their weight below 200, so don't take that the wrong way. I just had a conversation with my boyfriend about how much I had gained in the time that we had met. This boy's mom can cook, but unfortunately it isn't healthy stuff... not by far. I don't attribute her food entirely to gaining 30 pounds in 3 months... but regardless of how it came back... it's back! I'm on the verge of tears as I look at myself in the mirror. I only have one pair of jeans that I can fit into comfortably without having a horrendous muffin top. I feel like I can't dress cute because all my clothes make me look like a cow.... this low self-esteem is for the birds! It's been a little over a year since I was at this low point and weighed the same. I NEED HELP!!! I HAVE TO DO THIS... I HAVE TO START LIVING HEALTHIER! I don't want to diet, I want to be healthy... which yes, I do want to get to an ultimate weight goal, but in the process I really want to "train" myself to eat/live a healthier life. I want this to come natural, not something that I have to slave over. God please help me find the strength & will power to get my life in order this go around..... these are my goals:
~ Getting my HEALTH back
~Staying away from the doctor who could one day look at me and say "You have Type 2 Diabetes". I don't want to be faced with having to check my blood sugar and stick myself to administer insulin everyday of my life.
~Fitting into my clothes & being able to eventually get into a smaller size!
~Getting back to the point where I enjoy exercise, which could be a problem with my back issues, but I shall overcome them!!!
How do I plan to acheive these goals???
~No Soda .. I just finished what will be my last soda pop... a large Dr. Pepper from Wendy's (GOOD RIDDDDDDDDDDDANCE SODA POP!!!)
~No Fastfood ... NO MORE!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!! I'll starve before I put my lips around another greasy gross burger!
~Track ALL food EVERYday.. with the handy dandy Diet & Calorie app, this shouldn't be as hard as I like to think it is!
~Exercise AT LEAST 30 minutes a day
~Drink 120oz of water per day
~Eat smaller portions
...I'm sure I'll add to this as the days go by..
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!! HERE IS TO NEW BODIES & HEALTHIER LIFESTYLES!!!!