Well I was very naughty over the holidays. I wasn't even going to commit to losing weight because I knew ahead of time that I would fail. Once again, I failed before I started. (Hmm? I think I said that once or twice before. I will have to get back to that thought later.) So I gained four pounds the last two weeks.
My new family is great and unlike my family back home, they like to celebrate with food just like me. Before I had total control being the one who made the majority of the meals. My new extended family made most of the food this year, and I will be honest, I was in a gluttonous frenzy for the last two weeks. As a result I have a had a four pound weight gain.
On one hand I want to tell myself how happy I am that it's not my usual twenty pound gain that I typically have around the holidays. On the other hand I know I could have done better and I am pushing the depressive thoughts out because I am having so much fun in my food frenzy.
Want to hear my excuse? Well, it has been going something like this... We are broke. No money has been coming in since October when my Worker's Comp. payments ended. My fiance's job has been delayed because of all the confusion with the taxes this year (he is becoming an accountant.) If it had not been for the money our parents gave us, we wouldn't have much food at all. So we are living on what few groceries we have left in the back of the frig and pantry. It's not much, and it's not healthy. There is, however, tons of leftover holiday cookies, pie, candy, and the like. The turkey dinner lasted a while and we still have some veggie sticks, but most healthy food is gone. We literally only have these things left to eat.
Okay, so I could have had one cookie instead of five. I did tell myself to only eat half a piece of pie. That worked for like a day. I could have done better. So even though the kinds of food I had to eat were wrong, I am still guilty of overindulging. As a result, I feel very, very yucky! I can't wait to buy some more vegetables and fresh fruit. Soon I will be able to and I can get back to feeling great again.
Okay, so back to that thought from before. I do see these things coming. I could have made some kind of plan to keep up with the weight loss. I will have to do a better job in the planning department. Believe it or not I have a reason that I don't plan, and that's because I know that I will most likely fail. Hey, I didn't say it was a good reason. If I just don't plan to begin with, I don't have to call myself out as a failure. It sound so lame, even as I type it, because it's still a big fat failure isn't it? If I had committed to a plan, maybe I wouldn't have gained four pounds, maybe only one, or two, or maybe not at all. If I was very, very good, I might have even lost weight right?
But okay, whatever! New Years Eve is coming tomorrow night. Time to wipe the slate clean and start new. I have resolved to get back on track with my calories, even if I am still living on leftover junk, and I plan to buy some healthy food as soon as I can. I will start working out. That is a big one for me because I never do it. I have my plan and my goals for that. I am committed and eager to get started.
I was so close to the 250 mark two weeks ago, and I know that I will get back there again very soon. I have my plans of attack and next year I will not gain weight at the holidays, infact I want to lose weight as my big challenge for next year. I will have a plan of attack for foreseeable situations that might trigger me to backslide. I will be ready for them. I will wrap my head around strategies to help me avoid backsliding at all cost. I will be a huge success with my weight loss this year. Bring it on 2013! Gggrrrrrr!
I feel very lucky to have SP to help me. I know that this time will be different. I know that reading the articles, seeing other people's successes and writing everything down will have a huge impact on my success in ways I could never have achieved on my own. Here's to 2013! Cheers!!!