Preparation for my JOURNEY
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Well here we are once again. I seem to go through quite often but this year has been a long one. Right now as I sit here and write this I am preparing for my JOURNEY. Making sure groceries are in the house, junk is gone, measurements are done, profile will be updated. And I have also decided that i am logging EVERYTHING. Good and the Bad. Personal and non-personal. I am not holding back anymore.
This last year has been hell for me. I have been Bipolar since I was 17 (now 37) and this last year I dont even know what all happened. In May of 2011 I found out I had uterine cancer so June of 2011 I had a full hysterectomy and I have a clean bill of health now. In the beginning July 2011 I was confronted by a family member (whom I usualy have limited contact with) about stuff that occurred when I was a kid/teen etc. About the abuse I had encountered though out my upbringing. I thought I was dealing with it all pretty good and was doing good. I had met my dream man shortly before all this and got into a serious relationship with him in July of 2011. Everything was GREAT. But in October of 2011 something happened. I dont know what--- I started falling apart. I was different and I still cant explain it. Well by Feb 2012 I had lost everything. I had a complete melt down. I lost my job, almost my relationship, my house, my car, family and friends... you name it. I ended up dealing with Mental Health and a Psychitrist for awhile as well. I am a self inflictor (cutter, scratcher etc... and seiver emtional eater). I have now been diagnosed with Bipolar as well as Border Personality Disorder. I was confused for a long time about alot of it, but alot makes sense now too. Even my oldest friend thinks it all makes more sense now, she never knew how i coped with everything I had been through, but I never coped, I just put on a good front, and made a seperate life that had alot of dark locked doors. Well not anymore.... I have gained ALOT of weight again, and i am taking my life back!!! So here I go ---- emotional, mental and physical healing.!!!!
My motivators---- My Health and Well Being, My kids, My grandson, My Husband!!
Game plan..... get everything in order before Tuesday Jan 1 2013 (food, measurements, weight, support, profile)..... Eat right, log everything, drink water, walk dogs, exercise, and keep a positive outlook.....
***All my entrys will now be found on the "Community Journals - Glo's Refuge and Journey" thanks for reading and look forward to your comments....