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A BIG THANK YOU for the condolences

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I would like to thank everyone for the love and support they have shown when my husband died so unexpectedly. I got so many Goodies and Private Messages, and messages on my SparkPage that it is impossible for me to respond individually.

I am doing o.k., altho' I still hear his little truck come and leaving me wondering why he hasn't come to the house ....... and then I remember! And the number of times I have seen him walking in the street in town ...... once again then I remember! It can be cruel how the mind can play these tricks on us!

My grandson has been with me most the time. It is good because it enables us to both talk about him if we need to, and just to share each other's company without conversation. My daughter and son-in-law have been out a few times, and my son-in-law has mown the lawn twice. It is hot and humid so the grass has been growing flat tack.

The night after his funeral, someone egged the house. My grandson heard the whack on the wall at night. We went out and found egg shell on the path and dripping yolk and egg white on the path, in the garden and on the wall. The next day I found two more patches where eggs had been hurled above the windows. Hubby and I had heard what we thought were stones being thrown at us a couple weeks earlier, and a few days before that, too! I phoned the Police to see if others had had the same thing happening in our village, but no-one had reported it. I wouldn't worry too much, but my little grandson has life-threatening allergies to many things, including egg, and he only has to touch a bit to be affected. It means that he will have to wear shoes here, and it is hot and summer!

I have very slowly been getting back on the message boards, but at the moment I am finding my concentration isn't there much, altho' having said that, my heart is definitely with you all.

I have been sorting out the various things that need to be done re finances, Insurance etc. I have an appointment with WINZ (our Social Services Agency) for 9th January, to go on a Widow's Benefit. It is the same day I have to go to the Dentist. The morning of my husband's funeral I broke part of a lower/back tooth and some of the filling came out, so after the funeral and lunch, a Dentist did a temporary repair at no charge.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NETSUE64
    I am so glad to hear from you. I can't imagine what it must be like to have such a gap in your life all of a sudden.
    1901 days ago
    Kris, you are in my thoughts today, as you are often. I just saw this blog entry today and I was glad to see an update on how you're doing. I'm so glad your Grandson is still with you - it's a shame he has to wear shoes when it's so hot just because someone egged the house - I'm so sorry you had to put up with someone being so inconsiderate.

    I hope everything goes well for you on the 9th. You've continued to be in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is a huge time of adjustment and my heart goes out to you. God bless you!

    Miller emoticon

    1906 days ago
  • 56ROSE
    So Sorry! Big HUGS!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1906 days ago
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending big HUGS your way!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1908 days ago
    Kris--I think of you daily. I think of my Mom losing my Dad 3 days after Christmas and think of you. I can only imagine the hurt. I love CJ"s advice. I heard that from a therapist when I was in day treatment back in 1996. I knew it was something to do with the word should but couldn't think of it.

    Take your time and do only what you think you can. We are here for you and SP is going know where. I wish you luck on the 9th. We are here if you need us.

    1908 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    One day at a time Kris.
    1908 days ago
    Kris, I think of you often and remember the wonderful advice my dad told me about. After my mom died, he became active in a group called WPS... widowed persons service...sponsored by AARP. He would contact newly widowed people about 6 weeks after the funeral and offer a listening ear and any help they needed. He always gave the following advice: "Don't let your friends "should" on you, don't let your family "should' on you and for goodness sake, don't "should" on yourself.

    1909 days ago
    The tricks and memories our minds play on us can be excruciating. On the upside, they do pass in time.
    1909 days ago
    You're right - the tricks your mind plays can be heart-breaking. Be gentle with yourself. I imagine some days you'll be able to focus on happy, fun memories and other days you'll just want to curl into a fetal position and cry. Losing your husband was a great shock and it will likely take some time to work through it. Know that we are here and care for you.
    1909 days ago
  • LOOLEE12
    1910 days ago

    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. I had no idea. I'm glad your family is there to support you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Goodness, who eggs a person's house ? I expect that sort of childish behavior at Halloween, but not when someone is grieving the loss of a loved one. That's just plain rude and disrespectful. Do people not actually think about their actions anymore ?

    Good luck with your tooth ! At least you have a kindly dentist who gave you a temporary patch for free. Hopefully doing the paperwork for your widow's benefits will go smoothly too.

    1910 days ago
    Love you! emoticon
    1910 days ago
  • DAWN14163
    One day at a time my friend.... I'm glad you have company at this difficult time.
    Thinking of you xx
    1910 days ago
  • CHLOE453
    emoticon emoticon
    1910 days ago
  • CANDOK1260
    1910 days ago
    Oh Kris, I can't imagine what you are going through. I am
    glad that your grandson is with you. What a horrible thing
    to find that idiots have done this thing to your house.
    I hope they catch whoever did this. Let's hope your grand-
    son doesn't have any bad reactions to the eggs. It must be
    hard to remove if it has dried.
    I hope you get everything sorted with your widow's pension
    and you get your tooth fixed. Thinking of you and wishing you
    all the best. You are amazing. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1910 days ago
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