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Living in Oregon…According to Jeff Foxworthy

Sunday, December 30, 2012


THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS TO SAY ABOUT ‘LIVING IN OREGON’…

• If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in


Oregon.

• If you’ve worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.

• If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live


in Oregon.

• If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon.

• If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon.

• If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon.



• If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in


Oregon.

• If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in


Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon.


• If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you


live in Oregon.

• If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon.

• If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in


Oregon.

• If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon.

• If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon.

• If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon.

• If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the “Walk” signal, you live in Oregon.

• If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in


Oregon.

• If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon.


[unless you're LDS]

• If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon.


• If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima and


Willamette, you live in Oregon.


• If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.


• If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon.


• If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon.


• If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon.


• If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon.


• If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon.


• If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time,


you live in Oregon.


• If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your OREGON friends, you live or have lived in Oregon.











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