Saturday, December 29, 2012
taking a few moment before I work out tonight and thought I come post on here. I had a snow day home today and it give my mind plenty of time to think. Not sure at this moment that thinking is what I need to be doing.
right now I need to focus on the task in front of me and then allow myself to face what been holding me back. However I was faced with these demon today and I got to thinking. I know what is holding me back at least I think I know what is part of it.
All my life I have been fat. I have had over weight parents my whole life. Matter fact being over weight is in the long run what killed both of my parents. Being around being fat I really don't know how to be fit or be skinny.
I've lived in this fat suit for so long that I actually don't know how to live without it on. I don't know what to expect and it is out of my zone.
I know though the only way to truly live is to get out of my box. Well in my case I need to get out of this fat suit. I need to step out of this suit and really start losing this weight. As much as it scary out there I know that I need to walk this path.
If I don't step out of this fat suit I'm going to be dead in around 25 years. Both my parents only live into their earlier 50s. I don't want that. I don't want to know that I'm more then half way done with my life. Cause I'm not I have so much more living to do today.
So tonight while I work out. I'm doing it to step out of this fat suit. I'm doing this for a change, and I'm doing this for my future.